


me and my nightmare girl

by penceygoth



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: (in chapter 2 4 and 5; tw for 5 it's said by someone using it against a gay person), :333, Alternate Universe - Vampire Slayer, Blood and Violence, Established Relationship, F slur, Gen, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Unbury Your Gays, Vampire Hunters, Vampire Slayer(s), Vampires, that's all i'm sayin on that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-03-31 14:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13977489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penceygoth/pseuds/penceygoth
Summary: the guys track down a particularly deadly vampire and as fate would have it, this creature of the night is one of Gerard’s exes.





	1. (the misery begins)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ierohero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ierohero/gifts).



“ _Fuck_ ,” Mikey whispers as he chews on the inside of his cheek and slams his laptop shut, tossing it to the other side of the couch and burying his face in his hands. “ _Fuck. fuck, fuck FUCK...”_ Ray glances up from a book, knitting his eyebrows together at Mikey’s sudden outburst.

“What’s goin’ on, dude?” Mikey pulls off his glasses and rubs his eyes and groans, muffled through his hands.

“Nothin’ man, just… I don’t think we got a good lead on this one.”

“What’d you find out?” Ray says as he grabs the laptop and sits next to Mikey. Mikey pushes it back open, pointing to a name atop the screen. Ray inhales sharply and holds his breath.

“Shit, this is bad…” he pauses and shakes his head looking at the computer and around, trying to find anything positive in the situation presented. “...fuck, this is really bad, Gerard’s gonna be fuckin’ _pissed_ .” Mikey nods and closes the laptop again. Having heard their faint worried murmurs through the wall and something that had to do with Gerard, Frank bolts in, _ready_ for hot gossip, and crashes into Mikey.

“Gee’s gonna be pissed ‘bout what?” he says excitedly, trying to look at the computer screen Mikey’s shielding now with his arm. Mikey pushes him off angrily and begins saying, “Fuck off, Frank, this isn’t the time-” when Frank catches him off-guard and snatches the laptop, running across the room and squeezing himself behind the T.V.

“Hmmm... _geez_ Mikeyway, that’s alotta porn…” he chuckles snidely. His smile fades quickly though, he pulls on his lip ring with his teeth as his eyes dart back and forth anxiously studying the screen.

“...So who’s Jenny?” he mutters softly, excitement faded, clearly not wanting to know the answer. Mikey storms over and barely manages to peel the laptop away from Frank’s superhuman grip.

“Frank this isn’t funny, you’re not telling him _anything_ , okay? Not yet,” he says, Frank nodding in a state of shock from Mikey’s tone. Mikey whips back around and starts to make his way to the bedroom so he can at least try to sleep off his severe migraine and spots Gerard holding two bags of groceries standing frozen in the front doorway.

“God **DAMN** it.”

 

The four sit in a painfully quiet lull as Gerard looks at the laptop and thumbs through the research, compulsively running his hand through his hair and his face sinking with gradually  more and more distress. He clears his throat several times before beginning, whispering but almost trembling with disbelief,

“So Jenny…she’s the one we’ve been lookin’ for?” Mikey can’t even look him in the eye.

“I’m not completely sure but…it doesn’t seem great,” Gerard’s face just gets hotter and it’s already bright pink; he’s still not crying yet but the shaking is much more prominent.

“We have to be _completely_ sure _,_ Mikey, we can’t just fuckin’ kill… we can’t kill--” he rubs his nose as it starts running and he keeps trying without success to finish his sentence.

“Gee, I can trace four deaths back to her, I mean… fuck, I didn’t even recognize her at first--” Frank hasn’t picked up on any contextual clues or gotten attention in five minutes and he decides it a good time as any to nose his way in.

“Is anyone gonna tell me who this girl is? I mean, she can’t be that important--” Mikey glares daggers into him and wraps his arm around Gerard just trying to comfort his brother. Ray kicks Frank in the shin and starts,

“She’s just-”

“She’s my fucking ex-girlfriend,” Gerard hisses. Gerard makes terrifying eye contact with him so Frank smirks a bit to diffuse.

“Gerard used to date _girls_?” Gerard just makes a face; he looks ill, more than usual at least, and leaves the room. Mikey leans over and sucker punches Frank.

“You insensitive little bitch! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Oh, I see the national mood is be purposely cryptic to Frank and hit him when he doesn’t understand what the fuck’s happenin’! It was a serious question that time, he never told _me_ he’d dated girls…” Frank huffs, rubbing his mouth. “Besides, she’s his ex, what’s the big deal?” If there wasn’t a hint of jealousy in his voice before (it was dripping with malice -- almost literally, Frank tends to spit a lot when he’s angry), it was uncomfortably obvious now. They all knew that Gerard had this weird capricious morality system but they’d learned to deal with it and _Frank_ understood more than anyone else exactly how sickening the idea of killing was; he couldn’t even watch the Jeff Goldblum Fly movie without getting squeamish (none of them could but that was neither here nor there). They had even reasoned back when they started that since these vampires were killing innocent people, they were doing the right thing, at least morally. Gerard still naturally suffered the worst of it, killing most of the vampires himself and it would usually end up either his Catholic upbringing or his stupid fucking savior complex popping back up and making him absolutely insufferable. A murderous ex-girlfriend was the last thing any of them needed and the _very_ last thing Frank needed between him and Gerard. Ray sighs, rubbing his temples.

“Frank, would you kill someone you’d slept with?” Luckily for Frank he’d _only_ dated assholes, ever.

“Uhhh...which guy we talkin’ ‘bout, dude? Half of them are pricks so _yeah_ , probably,” Ray shakes his head and presses his fingers harder into his temples.

“Shit, no, lemme reword that...like, a guy you’d gone a date with, not even if you were necessarily boyfriends, but like, just a decent dude, I don’t fuckin’ know...” Frank’s face scrunches up into a pout and he crosses his arms in against his chest tight.

“Yeah, dude, we’ve _done_ that before, it’s my job to be bait, _remember_?” Gerard comes back out of the bedroom, his face a flushed mess of snot and tears and every time he tries to start speaking it devolves into unintelligible blubbers. He pulls together enough to shakily yell at Frank.

“We haven’t killed anybody you knew well and you know it! We’ve never killed someone you dated, Frank, actually _dated_ for a year and a half. We’ve never killed anyone you knew before any fuckin’ vampire bullshit as a normal human being! As just… a regular person who was there and loved you...” He trails off into a quiet tearful whimper and stops himself, grabs the loaf of bread from the grocery bag, and slams the door behind him. Frank’s face has the same sick expression as Gerard’s now, absolutely crestfallen.

“They...they dated for a year ‘n a half?” Ray glances over at Mikey, begging him silently to at least _mention_ the elephant of sexual tension in the room. Mikey firmly shakes his head so Ray diverts.

“Yeah, but I mean, this was a while ago though so like--” Frank just picks himself up and heads towards Ray’s bedroom.

“Just uhhh...tell Gee that I’m sorry that... I mean…” he blinks hard as if he’s trying to will away tears. “... just tell him I’m sorry,” The door clicks shut and Ray looks to Mikey again with a confused look on his face.

“Soooo… can I say what we’re both thinking now?” Mikey snorts.

“My brother has a sex life and that’s all I’m going to acknowledge about that. Besides, it’s my obligation or something right now to make sure he doesn’t eat that entire loaf of bread in there.”

 

* * *

 

Gerard curls up even smaller under the blanket when the alarm starts going off for the third time, he was just going to have to call in sick again because the idea of food or even being around it was making his stomach churn acid. He always got ridiculously paranoid about those kind of things, that he could be turning into a vampire and he wouldn’t even realize. He figured if that ever did happen though, he’d die of thirst first because when he got into a depression, he didn’t eat at all. This seemed to be the situation, he couldn’t remember what or if he’d eaten the day before and it was already eleven o’clock. He hits the snooze button and buries his face back into the pillow, blindly fumbling for his rosary and sighs as his fingers wrap around the cool beads. No burning, good. The only good thing he notes, remembering that this is really real, that Jenny is a _vampire_ . Jenny, the first person that saw what a horrible depressed drunken mess he was and gotten him help and sure… Jenny, the last girl he would ever date but still _Jenny,_ the first and only girl he ever saw himself marrying. He would never in a thousand years think of her as a killer, a monster, a murderer, but somehow it was true. Somehow Jenny Bianchi, the sweet girl from upstate who still visited her grandparents, Jenny Bianchi, journalism major at NYU on scholarship (but not like she _needed_ it), Jenny Bianchi, the girl he should have married before she realized he was clinging onto her as one last hope for somebody (who knows who) that he was straight, that girl is a dangerous ravenous vampire. _She_ is a bloodthirsty creature of the night. Gerard smiles to himself wishing he could explain any of this to his mother, another one of his exes turning into a vampire or how metaphorical it all was. He peeled off a fingernail and winced, his brain kept constantly shitting on him because to add to his queasiness, he now couldn’t even think about Jenny without hearing his mother’s voice in the back of his head reminding him what a good girl she was and how he should have married her because _fuck_ they could be married and living in Poughkeepsie with one kid and another on the way. _Helena for a girl, Jonathan for a boy._ They would have their oh so fucking gorgeous two-story house overlooking the Hudson and they wouldn’t be worrying about any of this stupid vampire shit. He buries his fingers into his temples and smacks his head, what the hell is he thinking? He’s only been upstate a couple of times and he _hates_ Poughkeepsie. Even if they had gotten married, they would never have two kids, one kid would be a miracle because he’d _still_ be fucking gay. He’d end up killing himself less than a year into the marriage, a year and a half of dating was rough enough on the both of them and besides, the part of him that wasn’t withering beneath this inexplicable and fickle internalized homophobia actually liked being gay and fucking around the tri-state area with his friends- at least he didn't have to worry about property value or whatever it is married couples in upstate New York lose hair about. Gerard’s heart nearly stops when he feels someone kick the bed and prays he wasn’t talking aloud again. He pokes his head out, motherfucking Frank.

“Jesus, Frank, you coulda just said my name,” Frank folds his arms in and kicks the bed again.

“Yeah, whatever, you need to get up.”

“I’m calling in sick, go away.”

“You’ve called in sick the past two days, you’re gonna get fired! Get your ass up!” Frank jumps up and down repeatedly on the bed and throws himself down, trying and failing to push Gerard off the bed with his entire body.

“Stop bein’ a prick, Frankie, I’m still sick, they can get someone to cover.” Frank moans and falls back onto the bed and closes his eyes as he makes his offer.

“Gerard, if you go to work today we… we can... _do_ somethin’ later.” Gerard looks at him and raises an eyebrow. Somethin’, eh?

“Do what?” he asks, knowing damn well what ‘do something’ means. Frank’s not having it.

“Don’t make me spell it out, Gee.”

“Sex as a favor isn’t healthy for relationships, y’know. At least that what Cosmo says.” Frank groans again louder.

“Ugh, _no._ I’m just sayin’ if you go to work now I _might_ consider y’know...doin’ somethin’ with you later.”

“Oh, I didn’t know we weren’t fucking because you didn’t want to,” Gerard says, muffled by the blanket as he pulls his head back under but sarcasm still as heavy as ever.

“Don’t mock me, bitch,” Frank giggles as he pulls the blanket back. Gerard stays quiet.

“Well?” Frank says impatiently.

“I’m considering it!” Frank smiles and gets up, leaning himself against the doorjamb.

“If we’re gonna though, you gotta take a shower before because you always reek like burnt grease and the shittiest mozzarella when you get back.” Gerard stifles a laugh and Frank’s grin broadens watching him. Gerard nods.

“Yeah okay.”


	2. drunk on cigarettes

“So according to her Facebook, she’s gonna be at a party this Friday... let’s see where,” Mikey mutters as he scrolls through pages. “it’s the …oh! Well, _that’s_ a gay club.” Gerard looks over his shoulder at the computer and rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, she would.”

“Hey y’know, maybe she realized she’s gay too, Gee,” Mikey suggests, giving her the benefit of the doubt. If anyone was a frankly kind of awesome Carmilla-style empress of the damned, it was Jenny. She just had that vibe. “like one of those gay man lesbian things?” he adds, waving his hands around a bit to try and signify gay solidarity but Gerard just gives him a cold stare and remains strongly unconvinced.

“She’s not gay, trust me.... _also_ I know for a fact that’s drag night, I bet you it’s her and her friends goin’ for a spectacle.” Mikey squints at Gerard.

“Why would you-” he mutters, his lip curling in confusion.

“I went to college in New York City, Mikeyway!” Gerard cries as if that was the natural answer. Mikey shakes his head wishing he could dispel the thoughts that came reeling (all of his brother doing drag) and continues.

“You are right though, it’s a bachelorette party.” Frank pulls off his headphones and kicks his feet forward from the couch, strutting over to the table and sits himself in Gerard’s lap. He steals a quick drag from the cigarette dangling absent-mindedly between Gerard’s fingers and  blows a ring of smoke through the right side of his mouth as he starts.

“Okay, what am I supposta do? Gay club, that’s my forte but a _girl_ at a gay club?” Mikey scratches his head in agreement.

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been wondering, I mean, Frank’s obviously gonna be our best bet but he’s _really_ twinky.”

“Hey!” Frank whines. Gerard lets a smile flash across his face for the first time that week and steals his cigarette back from Frank.

“He is but it’ll be fine, he’s her type.” Frank scowls but it looks more like a toddler’s pout.

“What type?”

“Gay and zero self-esteem, bozo.” Frank giggles as Gerard squeezes him from behind and pecks him on the cheek. Mikey glances at them over his glasses and hides behind his computer, praying for Ray to come in so he didn’t have watch his brother get all mushy over his best friend much longer. He didn’t _hate_ them being together, they seemed really happy when they were getting along and he was glad for them, honestly. They deserved each other, even if his only reasoning was that they’re both unbearable melodramatic twinks; he mostly just loathed the fact that they just brushed it off as messing around or some other bullshit because he _got_ that they both had screwed up relationships with their sexualities and they really, actually, _sincerely_ thought that kissing, cuddling and sleeping on each other wasn’t transparently obvious. Ray does walk in within the next minute and Mikey practically leaps up from the table and mouths ‘thank God’. Ray looks at him, then at Frank and Gerard and chuckles.

“Hey, guys…uhh…I just got the van set up, what’s the plan?” Gerard smiles and tucks a lock of hair behind Frank’s ear.

“We’re gonna send Frank in Cold-Cocked--”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Ray says before anyone else can.

“Shut up!” Frank moans somehow more hurt and high-pitched than before. Gerard lets out a little giggle and continues,

“--anyway it’s in the city.”

“J.C?”

“No, New York.” Ray groans and rubs his head annoyed.

“Jesus…”

“It’s just a forty minute drive, dude!”

“I know, it’s just every time we have to go up to Manhattan, there’s three vampires per person not to fucking mention parking or fuckin’ hotel prices?” Gerard waves his hand at him flippantly.

“I’ll work somethin’ out.”

“Yer not gonna beg Ma for money again, are ya?” says Mikey from the kitchen through a mouthful of salami. Gerard scoffs.

“ _No_ , I’m not gonna beg Ma for money.” Mikey, Frank, and Ray make quick eye contact and decide that they’re definitely gonna pay Donna a visit.

 

* * *

 

Gerard staggers in at a quarter after midnight and collapses on the bed, pulls himself up to Frank and sighs deeply as he buries his face into his chest. Frank lets out a exhale of relief as he cradles his head and strokes his hair back and Gerard looks up at him and moves to his lips, starting to kiss him softly and hang on him. Frank tangles his fingers through his hair and grins.

“Missed you, honey.” he whispers against his lips.

“Missed _you_ , honey.” Gerard giggles back. Frank cracks another smile and closes his eyes as Gerard continues to kiss him messily all over his mouth. Gerard’s hand begins to slip up his shirt, his thumb pressing against his hip bone and Frank stiffens, pulling back slightly.

“Mm...wait up, Gee...” Gerard pulls back quickly.

“What?”

“Uhh… just I’m not really in the mood right now.” Frank mumbles and looks away anxiously.

“Oh! ‘Kay.”

“I’m sorry, babe.” Gerard shakes his head and strokes his cheek.

“No, no, that’s cool, you just wanna cuddle then?”

“Myeah.” Frank says, pulling Gerard back into him and holds his head on his chest again. They lay there holding each other in silence for a couple of minutes, Gerard moving up and down with Frank’s steady breath. Gerard hugs him tight and titters under his breath, starting and slurring slightly.

“Mmmm, y’know I love you _sooooo_ much, baby.” Frank’s tone shifts and his breathing halts as he makes a realization.

“Have you been drinkin’?”

“Nooooo,” he says smiling. Frank looks him and the eyes and he confesses, “Jus’ a coupla drinks, it’s nothin’, honey.” A troubled look crosses Frank’s face.

“Gee, you’re not supposed to be drinking at all, especially with your meds. You could relapse--” Gerard groans.

“It’s just been a long week, Frankie. I _hardly_ ever even do it.” Frank grows more worried and repeats himself.

“You _really_ shouldn’t be drinking at all, babe! You’re still in recovery and I don’t want you to get that bad again…” Gerard sticks his lip out and sulks.

“God, you don’t need to act like my _mom_ about it and _you_ drink all the time.” Frank rolls his eyes.

“First of all, your mom doesn’t care about your drinking, she doesn’t even _know_ about it and you _know_ I’ve been cutting back--” Gerard childishly mouths his words as he talks until Frank glares at him and he grins back sheepishly.

“I just… want you to be happy.” he sighs tiredly.

“Well, I’m happy with you.” Gerard smiles and nuzzles Frank’s neck, gently kissing his jawline. Frank wraps a lock of his messy hair around his finger and squeezes his eyes shut hoping the burning pit of dread in his gut would go away. It was just a bad stomach ache; he needed to talk to Gerard and they _needed_ to have the very obvious conversation, at least about Jenny, but he seemed so happy. Maybe it was just the alcohol but maybe it was truly just them being together, maybe he really did just love him… fuck, no, it wasn’t them, he was just drunk. He was never this affectionate with him sober except _maybe_ when they were in a small shitty motel room in fuck-ass Pennsylvania and there was no possible chance of anyone else seeing them. He was using him and he knew it. He had tried to convince himself that this wasn’t the case but they had been in a bit of a rut before they found out about Jenny and now he was all over him. He was using him to get over having to kill his ex-girlfriend and once they did it, they would go back to kissing only in the bedroom and fucking when they were too wasted to care. Frank starts picking at the skin on the side of his fingers deciding that he might as well talk to him, it wasn’t like he was going to remember any of this in the morning. He starts quietly.

“Did you love Jenny?” Gerard looks up and his eyebrows pull together.

“What are you--I mean yeah, but like… not like that y’know? I started dating guys after her.” But Frank hadn’t known, he hadn’t known about any of this. Gerard hadn’t told him about this major part of his life and he felt like shit for caring so much because he was definitely regressed under layers of overwhelming internalized hatred that he’d tried to drink away, but if he hadn’t told him he dated women, there was definitely other things he’d never told him about.

“Yeah but I mean, you loved her, you… you had that type of relationship with her--” Gerard catches where Frank’s going, or at least he thinks he does, and shakes his head.

“Frankie, I don’t still love her like that.”

“I know that but just… you’re gonna kill her.” He shouldn’t have said that and his stomach churns harder as he watches Gerard’s face sink.

“You don’t needa remind me.”

Frank bites his cheek and keeps picking compulsively at his fingernails, takes a shaky breath and mutters, “Would you… would you kill me if that happened to me? If I turned into a vampire?” Gerard pulls back and sits up, his eyes darting frantically as he looks him in his.

“What the hell … no no no, _fuck_ no, we’re not talking about this right now.” Frank scrunches up his nose and frowns.

“Why the fuck not? I think it’s important to know when you’re with someone!”

“ _No,_ I would never kill you, I _love_ you, dumbass!” Frank bites his lip and says what he’s almost constantly thinking.

“I meant if we’d stopped dating.”

“No! That doesn’t mean I’d kill you, I mean, that’s literally what happened with me ‘n Bert and we’re still friends!” Frank gets that involuntary aching twinge of jealousy in his stomach when he thinks about Bert and Gerard so he peels back at the gaping wound he can see this conversation giving both of them.

“Yeah but what if--” Gerard sniffles angrily several times and lies back down on the bed pulling the blanket over his head.

“I’m _not_ having this conversation with you.” Frank yanks the blanket off of him and stands up next to the bed so he will just look at him.

“You’re gonna have to have this fuckin’ conversation with me, I could get turned at any second and you can’t even tell me that you’d kill me if I did!” Gerard pulls the blanket back and wipes his running nose with his coat sleeve, his voice growing tremblingly loud.

“This is fuckin’ hard enough without you being a bitch and making it about yourself, I have to _kill_ my ex-girlfriend!” Frank scoffed, _that_ was fucking rich, he was making it about _him_ now.

“Yeah, boo fuckin’ hoo, you have to kill your ex. My current lover wants to kill me!” Frank spits, he knows he’s being irrational and he would want him to kill him if he turned, but it would be _his_ fault. Him turning would be _his_ fault and all he needs to do is admit it so Frank can finally confirm every word that’s buzzed around in the back of his head, every thought that’s festered and given him ulcers. Gerard shakes his head and squints his eyes to keep from crying.

“You don’t understand--”

“I understand, I understand _perfectly_ how it feels to be in love with someone who seems incapable of loving back. You don’t think I understand how you feel about her ‘cos I’m the angry fag, right? I’m the bitter homo who doesn’t understand love, is that it?” Frank keeps piling on. He’s just waiting for it; he wants him to hate him so bad, he wants him to regret ever trying to love him, he wants him to never want to try again. He can’t use him if he can’t stand him. Gerard stays dead silent, his lower lip trembling pathetically and cheeks flushing up. Frank exhales hard and wipes his eyes on his arm.

“I don’t have to deal with this.” Frank mutters. Gerard’s voice is just a harsh whisper but it’s still enough to send chills down his spine.

“Fuckin’ leave then, start shit and fuck off like you always do.” Frank clenches his jaw and stays long enough to watch the hot angry tears well up in Gerard’s eyes and slams the door behind him, loathing and self-sabotage burning up his throat and he’s never felt worse.

 

* * *

 

Ray just wanted to get high and watch shitty soap operas that night but his plan was immediately turned on its heels when he heard raised voices from Gerard’s bedroom. He looks back and Frank storms out, hiding his face behind his hair, rubbing his eyes and slams the bedroom door and the front door as he leaves; still only in a t-shirt and briefs into the 40 degree fall night. Ray groans aloud, not again. He cracks open the bedroom door and Gerard’s thrown his pillow over his head, moaning and wailing like a dying animal. He should _probably_ say something before the neighbors call Animal Control again and Brian threatens to kick them out _again_ but Gerard answers that. He looks up expectantly at Ray when he hears the door click open, hoping for Frank.

“Shit… sorry, Gee…uhhhhhh… just wanted to see if you know… you were doin’.......I’ll leave--” he stutters out clumsily. Gerard sniffles and takes a deep shaky breath.

“No, it’s okay, can you stay?” Ray nods and sits awkwardly on the edge of the bed next to Gerard, his eyes and nose the hot shade of pink that it gets when he cries a lot and he’s biting his lip to keep from continuing. Ray barely gets a word out before Gerard turns and hugs him, burying his face into his chest and gripping the collar of his shirt; his face is still damp and kind of snotty but he needs this.

“Yer my _best_ fuckin’ friend, Ray, no one else cares...” his voice is slurred and he’s obviously been drinking. God damn it, he really should have been watching him, especially when he was already in this state. Ray pushes some of his hair behind his ear.

“What d’ya mean?” Gerard looks up and rubs his nose with the back of his hand.

“Yer always here, man, I _luhve_ you.” Ray sighs and decides to address what they’ve both been thinking about.

“What’s-what’s goin’ on between you ‘n Frank?” Gerard sits up and fixes his hair, trying to collect himself.

“Like… just now or in general?” Ray shrugs.

“You don’t have to tell me everyth--” Gerard shakes his head, wiping the corners of his eyes.

“No, it’s okay, it’s just...uhm...well, I mean we’ve been seeing each other…like, y’know.”

“Yeah?” Gerard rolls his eyes and groans.

“Dating, Ray. Christ, you could make this easier.”

“Well thanks but neither of you have told me shit. I mean, what about Mikey? I thought you guys were close--” Gerard groans again louder.

“We didn’t--it’s just because it’s not like… we’re not _boyfriends_ , y’know? We just… we’ve gone on dates and…” he whispers loudly, “…had sex,” and continues at his previous volume, “It’s just not a serious thing.” Ray pulls a face when he mentioned them having sex and then the memories came flooding of him trying to sleep or watching T.V and hearing low moans and gasps from the other room and Frank sleeping with him a _lot_ but he’d never put two and two together. He usually just assumed that he was jacking off or something, not…

“Ugh, gross!” he blurts out. Gerard blushes and Ray apologizes, “I’m sorry I just… I just realized I’ve heard you guys fuck.” Gerard turns even redder.

“You...have?”

“Yeah, you guys are super fucking loud…uh, no pun intended. I mean Frank’s the noisest guy when he’s--” Ray stops himself as Gerard sinks further into his hair from embarrassment. “Sorry.” Gerard stays quiet and brings himself to repeat,

“We’re not boyfriends.”

“You guys aren’t exclusive.” Ray says back. Gerard nods, chewing on his nails with practically his entire finger in his mouth.

“That’s basically it, we see each other but like… he sees other guys sometimes and you know...uh, yeah.” Ray squints.

“You don’t see other guys?”

“Not really but I mean, if I did it wouldn’t be a big deal or anything, he wouldn’t mind.” Gerard tries to shrug it off but his voice cracks noticeably and Ray understands painfully what Gerard’s going through, pausing as he looks for words.

“That… I mean, have you ever told him that you wanted to be his boyfriend?” Gerard scrunches up his face.

“No! No, it’s really fine how it is now, I don’t care--” Ray closes his eyes and rubs them wearily. He goes around it.

“Well, when the fuck did you guys get together anyway?” Gerard smirks.

“Remember when we went down to Philly?”

“Shit, that was months ago!”

“Seven.” Seven months? Neither of them were very good at keeping relationships on the down low and somehow they had managed to do it together, and holy _shit_ , seven months, Ray is now _positive_ that Gerard’s not okay with whatever he and Frank are calling their relationship.

“Seven months? Uh, yeah, dude, that sounds like you’re in love with him.” Gerard smiles, his eyes still sad.

“Ya wanna know why?” Gerard was going to make a shitty joke and Ray grimaces with his whole body in preparation.

“W-Why.”

“‘Cos we hooked up in Philadelphia--” Ray glares hard at him, begging Gerard not to finish it.

“Don’t fucking do it.”

“ _\--The City of Brotherly Love._ ” He finishes, grinning broadly and Ray sinks his face into his hands.

“You’re the worst.” Gerard cracks up and teeters back onto the bed.

“But...you love him?” Ray winces at that transition and Gerard’s face turns back.

“Yeah, but not enough.”

“Not enough?”

“I don’t love him as much as he loves me because he’s actually fucking gay and I’m just having this weird guy phase.” Ray shuts his eyes for a good minute and rolls his eyes. He wasn’t gonna pretend he even knew half of what Gerard had struggled with sexuality-wise but this was just a different level of theatrics.

“Gerard, you’ve _gotta_ be kidding me. You don’t think you’re gay enough to love him?”

“I’ve dated girls longer than I’ve dated guys and like stat-statistic-st…” he stumbles over statistically several times before Ray gets exasperated and just moans,

“Statistically.”

“Yeah, _statisticically_ I’ve had girlfriends longer than boyfriends.” His logic was faulty but Ray wasn’t going to bring it up.

“Why’d you stop then?” Gerard goes quiet and sniffles, that gets him.

“‘Cos… I mean Jenny was the last girl I dated and I… after she broke up with me…” Ray raises his eyebrows in expectation. Gerard shakes his head, “I don’t know, she broke up with me when she found out I was into guys.” _This_ was news.

“Really? She didn’t like, ask you if you were bi or somethin’?”

“Well a- I’m not so that wouldn’t have mattered and b- it was after this big fucking argument and she brought it up because I hadn’t _told_ her and she knew most of the reason we were still together was to prove I was straight to…fuck, myself or something?” Gerard falls hushed suddenly and whispers, “I don’t know, I guess I just stopped being interested in girls.” He should _not_ be confronting him with this after he’d drank himself into a depression and had a loud bad argument with boyfriend--or whatever, but here he was, being the shittiest friend to Gerard.

“And you’re not gay enough to love Frank?” Gerard laughs dryly.

“It doesn’t matter though, does it? We can’t fucking get along long enough without shit like that happening.”

“What happened?”

“He gets jealous over fucking everything, I don’t know, he asked me if I still loved Jenny and then made it a big deal and about him and that I would kill him if he turned into a vamp.” That was a bombshell of a conversation and Ray worries that Frank may have been drinking too.

“He didn’t know about her before…   _fuck_ he didn’t even know you’d dated girls, I think it’s kinda natural for him to feel a little jealous, dude,” Ray pauses, “and y’know he gets really scared, he’s probably developed an anxiety disorder from bein’ bait all the time.”

“I know and I said that I could never kill him … I would _never_ kill him but he was just… he was still upset.” Why was he giving drunken Gerard love advice? He wasn’t gonna use any of this. Ray throws his hands up at a loss for ideas.

“Shit, dude, I don’t know but I don’t think he’d make a big deal out of it if he didn’t love you.”

“Yeah, right, okay.” Gerard says, extremely dubious. Ray sighs and looks back towards the door.

“I’ve gotta go check on him now, though, he ran outside and I don’t think anything good can come outta that.” A pained smile spreads across Gerard’s face and he rubs his eyes on his shirt and sniffles a little.

“Thanks, dude.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Ray heads out but Gerard stops him just before he leaves, gently pulling at his arm.

“Hey…” he says. Ray lifts his eyebrows and nods in a gesture to continue. “...can you tell him I love him?”

“Uh, sure,” Ray lights a cigarette and takes several drags off of it before even trying to deal with Frank; sure, he was helping his friends but he was definitely going to hold this above them because the last thing he needed was their romantic stress on top of the entire vampire killing business.

 

* * *

 

Gerard wakes up with the worst hangover, drool dried on his cheek and lying on a pillow next to the toilet, unflushed vomit still inside, and his massive headache only worsens when he remembers that they’re going up to New York. _Shit_ , why did he choose last night to get wasted and get in a fucking screaming match with Frank, why was he like this? He fell asleep in his coat and jeans, his throat feels like it’s gonna rip itself out, his face is burning up and his eyes feel like somebody rubbed them with sandpaper repeatedly; he looks like he got mugged and feels like he got hit by a semi and kind of he wished he had. He jumps in the shower, cries more and jerks off; the usual hangover routine. He shuffles out, pours himself a cup of coffee, pulls his sunglasses on and leans back on the couch, turning on cartoons and mistakenly takes a giant gulp of coffee right before Frank walks out of Ray’s bedroom, nearly choking. Frank freezes and glowers at him, his eyes puffy and pink staining his cheeks, his jaw clenched hard. Gerard can’t look away from him fast enough, he looks just as bad as he does and it’s _his_ fault. To add, Frank was going to be the most difficult person to deal with during this whole ordeal; not like he didn’t deserve it but it was also the last thing they needed. Ray walks out and whispers something in Frank’s ear and Frank walks briskly to the kitchen, pours himself a cup of coffee and grabs a bagel before locking himself back in the bedroom. Gerard sighs and pulls a pillow over his head.

“Bad night, huh?” Ray says. Gerard throws the pillow at him and groans.

“Get me another cup of coffee, bitch.” How he managed to down a twenty-four ounce cup of coffee within two minutes astounded everyone but he _did_ have a hangover.

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll die by three.” Ray pours him another cup and sits down next to him.

“What’z Frank doin’ here?” he mutters as he drinks a quarter of the cup of coffee.

“He slept over.”

“ _Why_?” Gerard feels a pang of what he can only figure as jealousy; he knows it’s stupid to think Frank slept with Ray but he had to be doing this to spite him.

“I didn’t _fuck_ ‘im, Gee, chill out.” Gerard looks at him and it’s _really_ stupid to think that they slept together but Frank would fucking do it, Frank would fucking do it to get back at him.

“He didn’t come onto you?” he says bitterly, his lip twitching. Ray sighs and rubs his temples.

“Christ, dude, _I didn’t fuck your boyfriend_. You should trust him better than that anyway.” Gerard begins to stutter out ‘he’s not my boyfr--’ but Ray rolls his eyes.

“What you tell him then?”

“What?”

“When you whispered to him,”

“Ughhh, I said ‘Frankie, Gerard’s a real fuckin’ prick, you should ditch him and run away with me’,” Gerard sighs. Ray shrugs and waves his hand dismissively. “I told him to take a break and get some more sleep, man, he was crying half the night.” Gerard’s stomach drops hard and he’s going to vomit again.

“I get it, I was being an asshole.” Ray inhales sharply and bites his lips.

“Fuck… no, I’m sorry, Gee. You two both had a shitty night, I know--”

Gerard shakes his head and mutters, “It was my fault, it was my fuckin’ fault.”

“No, dude--”

“Yes it was! I fucking drank, I’m not supposed to be drinking and that shouldn’t be something everybody has to watch- I’m not some teenager, I’m almost fucking _thirty_! I should be a responsible fucking adult about it by now and he shouldn’t have to suffer because of it…” Ray wraps his arm around Gerard and he tries hard not to cry; he’s a shitty alcoholic mess, he doesn’t deserve to cry.

“Gee, you two just had a fight, I mean, you have a problem but we’re here for ya--”

“Oh, shut the fuck up with that, this isn’t AA.” Ray smiles and squeezes Gerard tight. Fuck, Ray was a really good guy, he was just a really good friend that Gerard didn’t deserve. Gerard didn’t deserve Frank or Ray or Mikey or anybody, he was just a piece of shit failure that couldn’t fake it with a girl or even keep a _boyfriend_. Fuck.

 

The guys pile into the van at five o’clock on the dot; Gerard pulls on his sunglasses, pops two painkillers, tosses his head back and prepares for a shitty too long ride but he wasn’t even prepared for the least of it. About fifteen minutes in, he feels the van brake and pull over and the engine chug to a stop. He flicks up his sunglasses and glances around, squinting.

“Why are we stoppin’? I thought you filled up before we left,” Ray takes a deep inhale, glances at Mikey, Frank, then at Gerard and says quickly through the side of his mouth, “We’retakingaquickstopinBelleville.” Gerard clenches his jaw. If he just said what he thought he said, he was going to kill him.

“We’re in _Belleville_ ?” his voice vibrated angrily, “What the fuck are we doin’ in _Belleville_?” Mikey turns around and sighs.

“We really need money, Gee, we _gotta_ ask mom.”

“I got money! We have money!” Gerard protests.

“Gerard. Look. I’m gonna stop at my old house and get some stuff, stuff we _need_ , then we’re gonna go to your parents’ place, say hi, have a nice dinner, get some money that we fucking need to survive, and drive up to Manhattan.” Ray says firmly.

Gerard pulls a sour face, he crosses his arms and huffs, “This is gonna add at least another two hours to the trip.” and gives Frank an icy cold glare, that stupid son of a bitch better have not withheld this from him. Frank’s eyes widen and shakes his head quickly, he did but Gerard looks like he’s going to gut the nearest person which just happens to be him. Mikey groans.

“I don’t see why it’s such a problem, Gerard. Ma’s been botherin’ me for a month about you seein’ them, they don’t hate you.” He _begged_ to differ but he grunts a soft “Whatever,” and throws his glasses back on.


	3. ain't feelin' the love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey you guys actually get to meet jenny! how's that! also more gay drama sorry.

They pull up outside Mikey and Gerard’s old house and Gerard’s face turns upward in a sneer, now drenched head to toe in sweat because he’d chosen to sulk in the van while they all went into Ray’s house on this disgustingly moist and sunny September day. He still refuses to take off his winter coat or even his scarf because if he’s not gonna have a say in any of this, he’ll at least pass out from heat exhaustion and that’ll put a damper in the mood. If he’s anything, it’s full of spite and rage. As they stand at the door, preparing a plan for the next couple of hours with as little casualties as possible, Ray gives Gerard the harshest look and whispers,

“If you’re not civil, I will stake you so help me God--” Gerard sticks his tongue out before Mrs. Way opens the door and gets bombarded with affection.

“How did you boys get Gerard to come up, oh my God!” She laughs and Gerard manages to force a little smile, exhaling sharply as she squeezes him, the unforgettable Way hug. She looks at all of them and smiles.

“It’s so great to see all of you! Mikey comes up all the time…” she stares uncomfortably at Gerard and he looks away. “Mikey _and_ Ray but I haven’t seen you in forever, Frank!” she pats his head like he’s some sort of dog and Frank beams. Kiss-ass. “...and I still can’t believe it’s my baby, Gerard! It’s been so long!” She squeezes him tight tight again and kisses him on his forehead and cheek and Gerard flushes bright red. Frank snickers quietly under his breath and Gerard gives him the dirtiest look as he wipes her lipstick from his face. Some fucking boyfriend or… whatever. As soon as they cross the doorway though, Gerard’s heart leaps up to his throat with the dread of being sixteen and trapped in this strangely foreign house. Gerard takes deep heavy breaths and rubs his head and nearly jumps as his mother grabs his coat.

“You can’t be dressing like this when it’s a hundred degrees out! You’ll die of heat stroke!” Gerard shakes his head and pulls his coat and scarf off.

“Sorry, ma.” he mutters.

“It’s okay, sweetie, do you wanna help me with dinner before your father comes home?” Gerard turns around quickly and pales, making himself nauseous.

“No, I uh.. I think I’m gonna go lie down, I don’t feel great right now.” Frank looks over sympathetically.

“I can help you make dinner, Miz Way!” he offers, excitement spreading across his face. She smiles back at him politely.

“Of course Frank! Here, come with me then.” Gerard rolls his eyes as he watches them walk off. _Kiss. Ass._ Mikey walks over and rubs Gerard’s arm, twisting his face in concern.

“Y’alright, Gee?” He nods him off and goes into the bathroom, splashes water on his face and takes a couple more ibuprofen. He could really use a drink, fucking hell, he _needed_ a drink right now. He just _had_ to get drunk and have that wasting burning addiction boil back up and gnaw at him on top of the immense guilt from just being in his childhood home and the crushing pressure from the idea of having to kill his ex-girlfriend. He stares at his face and strokes his cheek; he was such a mess, a queer fuck up of a son. Why couldn’t his parents just call him that outright so he had a real excuse to never visit them? He knew they were thinking it, he knew they were just waiting for him to have another breakdown and screw up so badly that he’d have to come crying back to them. He decides right there that even if he does start binge-drinking again that he’ll just pass out in the gutter before ever trying to call his mom drunk and start weeping and apologizing over every decision he’s made since he was eighteen. He walks down to the basement, falls back on the bed and groans; his best option for now was to sleep off this sickening feeling of nostalgia. He jolts up what he figures is hours later but has only felt like minutes with a painful droning in his ear and squeezes his throbbing head.

“How you feeling, Garry? Your mother said you looked ill...” Ugh, _Garry_ , that had to be his dad. He squints up blearily at him, his sunglasses still on.

“Mmmnnnn no… ‘m fine, dad, jus’ kinda tired.” Gerard watches his face turn a bit. Shit, he definitely recognized the exasperation in his voice.

“You finally decide to visit then, from _illustrious_ Newark?” he jokes but tone has that cold flat emotionless droll in it. Gerard rolls his eyes, sure, rank on Newark as Frankie Valli and motherfucking cherry blossoms aren’t the only thing Belleville has going for it.

“Yeah, Mikey ‘n Ray ‘n Frank--”

“Dragged you here?” Gerard’s jaw sets and he rubs his forehead more. It’s true but he despises the implication.

“No I mean… God, I’m here right now, what more do you want?” he mutters angrily. He looks back at him and he’s that horrible brooding gremlin of a teenager in this fucking basement again, talking back to his father . His dad shakes his head and walks back upstairs sternly.

“Dinner’s ready, you wouldn’t want it to get cold.” Gerard throws his head back dramatically and buries his head in his pillow, hitting it several times. He’s going to kill Ray, he’s going to kill his entire family (sans Mikey but he’s on thin ice) and then kill that absolute _bastard_ Ray fucking Toro.

* * *

Dinner was a disaster. It was just a regular dinner, the food was great (Frank _was_ actually a good cook, Gerard wasn’t too proud to admit that), Gerard hadn’t tried to start anything, in fact he stay dead silent because of that terrible family dinner pressure weighing down on all of them that made his stomach churn too much to actually enjoy anything. Gerard falls back onto his bed afterwards and sighs, he needs _some_ rest but Frank walks down and stands awkwardly at the doorway. He stands there for a long time silently, wringing his hands against his shirt before Gerard looks up tiredly and moans,

“What.” Frank bites his cheek and walks to the bed and sits on the end of it, picking at a hole in his jeans as he starts.

“‘M sorry.” he mumbles. Gerard raises his eyebrows.

“You’re sorry?” he says back skeptically. Frank pulls a face and runs his hands through his hair and exhales deeply.

“Yeah, Gee, I’m sorry. Last night… I don’t know, I was just upset and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you and I know I made you feel worse about all this. I’m just… I’m sorry.” Gerard looks at him; fuck, he wants to hate him, he wants to ignore him and honestly just go to sleep but it took a lot of guts for him to apologize. Frank had a pride that was near impossible to wound (that somehow did not stop him from getting blackout drunk and table-dancing at the White Castle) but it especially took a lot of guts because they both knew it was Gerard’s fault last night had turned into a shit-show resulting in everybody’s pissy mood.

“Great, okay.” he mutters, rolling over and hugging the pillow, sniffling already. Frank reaches over and rubs his hand up and down his back, smiling sadly.

“Mikey says we’re leaving in an hour, you can get some sleep if ya want.” A grin does a quick and soft waltz across his face, he turns over and interlaces his fingers with Frank’s out of habit and lets Frank lay down next to him. Gerard kisses him on the forehead but is no quicker to blush and pulls his hand out from his, rubbing it on his jeans nervously.

“I’m sorry.” Frank strokes his cheek and tangles his fingers through his hair.

“You just got sweaty palms, no big deal.” Gerard laughs and flicks Frank’s nose.

“Shaddup, yaknow what I mean.”

“‘Bout last night?”

“Yeah I’ve -- I’ve been sober for months and I guess I just… I only had a few drinks but it must’ve been too much or I can’t handle myself anymore or I just--” Gerard gets stupidly choked up and swallows the burning back. “Fuck, I’m really sorry, I have no fuckin’ excuse, I treated you like such _shit_.” Frank bites his lip and fiddles with his lip ring absentmindedly.

“I made it worse than it shoulda been…”

“No, you guys deal with the same shit I have to get drunk to even think about, you guys put up with so much more than I do and I have the fuckin’ nerve to wallow in self-pity, I don’t deserve you, I don’t--” he whimpers out, very pitifully. Frank tilts his head and quickly silences him with a kiss, then barely separates from it.

“God, you’re such a goddamn martyr,” he whispers warmly against his lips and musses up his hair. “We’re both assholes, can we just put it at that?” Gerard smiles weakly and nods. Frank rests his head on his chest, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear and traces his collarbone over his shirt, breathing softly against him and Gerard closes his eyes and sighs, he can _finally_ get some rest. They stay quiet in the moment and Gerard nods off slightly, only for twenty or thirty minutes this time but he still feels that gentle flitting in his chest when he wakes up to find Frank lightly sleeping on him. He rubs his eyes and Frank moves against him, moaning as he wakes slightly and he laces his fingers through Frank’s hair, stroking his head, furrowing his brow, and falling deep into thought. He almost doesn’t notice the figure in the corner of the room until he hears his name muttered in a distinct tone. He looks up and naturally, _of course_ , there his mother is, her lips pressed white together and a dour look on her face. Gerard nudges Frank off and Frank looks over, panic crossing his face as he sees her too. She leaves the room before Gerard can utter a word so he fixes his hair and sits on the edge of the bed, burying his face into his hands and taking deep breaths.

“What’s happenin’, Gee?” Frank says from the bed, sitting up and stretching.

“God, I’m dead, I’m so fuckin’ dead…” Gerard says repeatedly; he shakes his head and feels his stomach drop further, at least the queasiness has returned full-force.

“What d’ya mean? I mean, she didn’t know about us but she can’t be that mad-”

“I’m not out to her, Frank! She doesn’t know I’m gay!” Frank looks at him dumbfounded and only musters up enough to say,

“Uh, yeah she does, babe.” Gerard looks at him terrifyingly and his voice turns into a shaky almost inaudible vibration.

“What… the _hell_ are you talking about?” Frank twists his mouth and picks at a scab on his knee.

“She-she asked me who you were seein’ while we were making dinner...”

“And why would she know that I’m gay?” Gerard spits back angrily, his throat has swelled with fear and each breath and word is a choking gasp. Frank realizes where he’s going with this and squeezes his arms across his chest tight.

“You think I told her? You really think that fuckin’ low of me?” Gerard’s nostrils flare as his grits his teeth and clenches the sheets in frustration.

“ _No_ , just her asking who I’m seeing isn’t indicative of her knowing I’m gay and I know you can be a vengeful bitch when you’re mad.” Frank chews on a piece of hair and sighs.

“She brought it up and-” Frank stops himself as a display of having any sort control over what he says for once but Gerard waves him to continue. “she just… she said ‘he’.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“She told me that she knew you were seeing someone and that she just wanted to know if  I thought he was good for you.” Frank smirks a bit as he scoots next to Gerard and rubs his leg, Gerard still looking off and flushed with anger. “I said you could do better.” Gerard shakes his head and stands up, pacing around before making his way to the door.

“I’m gonna go… talk to her. Go and tell Mikey and Ray I’ll be a minute.” Frank falls back on the bed and moans for Gerard as he walks out and sits on the stairs, putting his head between his knees. He feels burning rising in his throat and he wishes he could just puke this wretched feeling away. He has to kill his ex-girlfriend _and_ explain his and Frank’s relationship to his mother, perfect. He’s going to die in this goddamn house.

* * *

Frank lies in Gerard’s old bed for a couple more minutes before getting up and walking around in circles, lighting a cigarette, his hands trembling as he takes a long drag from it. He shouldn’t have been in there with him, at least not _in_ bed with him and curled up against him. He should’ve just apologized and left him alone and he _really_ shouldn’t have told Gerard that his mom had asked about his love life when he had gotten his stomach twisted into knots already. He should have bit his tongue for two fucking minutes and not made this whole situation shittier than it was. Donna liked him, even if it was only because he always offered to cook he could have an out there, maybe she didn’t mind that he and her older son were cuddling in his bed… who the fuck was he kidding, she had to loathe him by now. Not homophobia necessarily, maybe a slight mixture of it but she had every right to hate him. He’d lied to her face about their relationship and then proceeded to shove it in her face when she had just wanted to talk to her son that stops by once every few months at most. She probably thinks that Frank’s the reason Gerard never visits and he can bet that’s not far off. Frank bites his cheek as he feels the inner hatred manifest towards Gerard now; he had at least had _a_ parent that loved him ‘despite his flaws’ or whatever the dumbass phrase is and he didn’t even realize it, he didn’t even appreciate it, like he didn’t want help. He just wanted to dig a pit for himself and lay in it and it sent Frank into bitter rage.

“Stupid motherfuckin’ Joan of Arc sonuvabitch…” he hisses under his breath as he storms upstairs and bangs loudly on Mikey’s door.

“Come in!” says a voice muted by the door. Frank opens the door and pouts as he leans against the doorjamb, scratching at his arm anxiously.

“Let’s get the fuck outta here.” Mikey sighs and picks up a box and starts to head out, looks around and squints.

“Where’s Gee?”

“Bein’ a jag off, c’ _mon_.” Mikey rolls his eyes and adjusts the box in his arms as they walk to the van together.

“You still pissed at him?” Frank shakes his head and they pause when they make it to the front door and hear slightly raised voices from the living room. Frank’s heart stutters and his hands grow clammy as he grips at his jeans, Gerard’s voice is clear and ringing through the walls and he can hear him getting more and more agitated. Mikey looks over worried and takes a step forward to investigate but Frank pushes him out before they can hear anymore and sinks to the ground outside, hiding his face in his arms and tears start streaming uncontrollably down his cheeks, burning hot and he feels _so_ stupid. Mikey sets his box down and kneels next to Frank and tries to console him.

“Frank, hey… hey… what’s goin’ on?” Frank sniffles and wipes his eyes on his arms, choking back tears quietly and forces a laugh weakly.

“God, I’m so gross, uggh… it’s nothin’ Mikes.” Mikey doesn’t even look like he believes him for a second but Frank’s not about to open up.

“C’mon, the sooner we get goin’, the better.” Frank nods, using Mikey as leverage and picks up his box and heads towards the van. Ray’s dozed off in the front seat and Frank smiles to himself as he sets the box on the floor and kicks hard at the back of his seat as he leans back. Ray yelps and sits up with a start, turning around and glaring him down.

“Whadda FUCK, Iero!” Frank giggles like the little shit he is and ducks as Ray throws a can back at him. Mikey grins at them but Frank watches it softly fade from his face as he stares out of the window. Frank leans over and glances out, only catching Gerard stomp into the van and push him over as he throws himself into the backseat. He rubs his red eyes and groans, leans up against Frank, throws on his sunglasses on, and lights a cigarette.

“Let’s get outta this hellhole.” and for once they can all agree.

 

Frank stirs in his sleep as the van stops and nuzzles into Gerard more, adjusting his head on his arm and burying his face into it. Mikey always made a big deal about them falling asleep on each other as if he chose specifically to sleep on Gerard, he didn’t _really_ . He always just cuddled the first person he could grab in a sleep-deprived daze and that person just usually happened to be Gerard and besides, Gerard passed out almost immediately after they started driving and snuggled up onto _him_ . He understands why he’s so tired; he’s had a rough day, a rough _week_ … hell, this whole month’s been a shitshow for him. He deserves at the very least some sleep. Frank closes his eyes again and smiles as Gerard snores in and balls up the front of his shirt in his fist, pushing his nose against the back of his neck. Frank feels someone softly slap at his face and he squints blearily up at Ray.

“Mmm fuck off.” he huffs out.

“C’mon, jus’ go up to the room.” Frank manages to wiggle out from Gerard’s big spoon and rubs his head. “Geez, you guys fell asleep fast,” Ray chuckles. “Gee’s out cold, huh?” Frank groans in agreement.

“Didya check in yet?” he mutters. Ray nods and hands him a key.

“You ‘n Gee are sharin’ a room, I’ll bring him up.” Frank blushes and giggles, fucking up Gerard’s hair as he sleeps.

“Oh, shut the fuck up.” Ray smiles back.

“Hey, I ain’t sayin’ nothin’, besides, I doubt _he’s_ gonna be fuckin’ tonight.” Frank punches him lightly and makes his way to the hotel room. Frank moans when he gets up to the room, falling face-first onto the bed. A cold fresh hotel bed is one of the few perks he looks forward to on this horrible lifepath he’s chosen and in his state he would instantly take it over anything else. Ray comes up with Gerard draped over his shoulder, his arms and legs dangling loosely and throws him on the bed with a huff.

“Remind me to never do that again.” Gerard mutters something in his sleep and rolls over, grabbing Frank’s chest and burying his face into it and mumbles,

“Mm, wuv you, honey.” Ray stifles a laugh and Frank gives him the finger as he wiggles out of his jeans and closes his eyes, pulling the blanket over them. He kisses Gerard on his forehead and whispers,“‘Night, baby.” Gerard moans a “‘Night, Frankie.” and rubs his face against his shirt. Frank smiles, knowing that this will probably be his last night sleeping with him and yet he’s never felt more at peace.

* * *

The lights dim on the busy New York skyline, streetlamps start flickering and threaten to give as Jenny Bianchi stares out her 14th floor window, her lips pulled tight in a grimace and a dark fluid drips down from the corner of her eye to her cheek. She exhales and the floor rattles slightly underneath her as she falls back on her bed, the lights returning to their full brightness. Her body feels brittle and weak, her face ashy, gaunt and lifeless (though she’d lost that long ago) and there’s something wrong. The feeling in her stomach and throat isn’t the usual thirst, it’s much more aching and consuming and her powers were getting too strong. Anytime she had used mind manipulation in the past week, her powers would overwhelm the victim and they’d end up passing out and that’s when she had started crying blood. She called it blood because it scared her to think of it as anything else and it hadn’t bothered her much at first. It had only started as just a small pooling in her left eye and then it started flowing like a stream out of both of them, clouding her vision and deep red streaks staining her cheeks making her look absolutely ghoulish when she was already standing over someone’s unconscious body in a coffee shop. She pulls herself up and grabs her crutch from her bedside and wobbles towards the bathroom, inspecting her deathly pallor and wiping the crusted and coagulated blood from the corners of her eyes. She looks at herself and sniffles, how had she gotten like this? She didn’t want to hurt anybody anymore, she hated seeing that look in someone’s eyes when they realized she was going to kill them but they were too weak to fight her off, she hated feeding because once she could smell the fear, her throat ached for blood and her actions became uncontrollable, she hated being a this inhuman shell of what she once was. She could one second be talking normally to somebody and the next second something inside turned and the demonic side overpowered her, hissing curses and growling furiously and she would lure these poor people in to be drained and die a gruesome death. She was always there when it took over but it wasn’t her, she was inside herself watching what she was doing in horror.

“I’ve turned into a monster.” she whispers. She shakes her head and splashes cold water up onto her face, she was going to have a good time tonight. She was going to go out with her friends and while she had her qualms about going into a gay club when she needed to feed so badly but it felt like a sort of retribution. She regretting thinking that as soon as it entered her head, it was that bitter and cold part from her life that still felt stupid for falling hard for her only boyfriend that wasn’t a total dirtbag that naturally turned out to be gay and still wouldn’t admit it to her when she confronted him about it. She wasn’t getting revenge on Gerard by going to the gay club that they had visited together way too much to be healthy for any supposedly heterosexual (that was directed at the both of them) relationship; he’s probably fucking around Jersey somewhere with his boyfriend right now and good for him, she really could not give a shit about him even if she wanted to. She was just going to go there, get a drink or two, maybe meet someone and probably end up feeding on some twink in a back alley. She didn’t feel great about that either but feeding on girls made her feel bad, maybe because she genuinely liked the girls she ended up killing or maybe because the men she chose were usually so awful. Jenny smiles to herself and suddenly her reflection appears and smiles back in a staggered reaction as if someone else is behind the glass, her eyes jerk around in the mirror and turn red and a vision of her appears but there’s blood slowly leaking out of a deep hole in her chest. She blinks hard and it disappears, she should really try to recharge her energy before she goes out.


	4. phantom queen

They’d only been in Manhattan for twelve hours, all of which had been spent sleeping, but Mikey was already uncomfortably on edge. There was always something about the city that made him uneasy, but when he lay on top of his blanket in his bed the previous night with insomnia and watched the lights of the entire city dim and flicker for a solid five minutes, he knew that something was horribly wrong with this entire mission. What really bothered him about this purgatory of a city was how useless their efforts were. They could track down the most powerful vampire and barely manage to kill them with Gerard and Frank hanging onto their lives by the skin of their teeth, then sixteen more would spring up and they’d get a gang of the creeps breathing down their necks (ha.) like the last time they’d made the mistake of going to the city. Maybe it was just nerves, maybe he was just a small town boy but he had just reason for his hesitation.

Mikey had managed to confidently trace back four unsolved murders to Jenny (same motif: exsanguinated bodies with neck abrasions dumped in the Hudson near across West and Greenwich Village and all open and shut cases due to three out of the four victims being gay men). There were also several disappearances that were closely linked, slightly different motifs that he just couldn’t figure out but what was important now is that she’s incredibly powerful, incredibly dangerous, and only growing stronger with each passing day. There was something else to her, there _had_ to be. No other vampire they’d dealt with had accidentally knocked a person unconscious telepathically and then proceeded to _bleed_ out of their _eyes_. Those were still unconfirmed rumors but terrifying rumors nonetheless and all he can get out of this right now is that Frank has a deathwish for actually going through with this-- Frank _always_ had a deathwish. Mikey usually didn’t mind much, most of the time it was harmless but _now?_

She was going to kill him.

He genuinely worried about Frank sometimes, he had to. Frank was the baby of the group (by less than two months, but still) and the most reckless. There was already the binge-drinking, the unprotected sex, the mood swings; that _plus_ him constantly putting his life on the line for them didn’t leave much up to the imagination on his mental state. Stupid fucking Frank and his stupid fucking pride and his stupid fucking petty revenge on Gerard and _that_ whole motherfuckin’ drama. He’s only twenty five, fuck, _Mikey’s_ only twenty five. He should have finished college, he should’ve got his degree and he could have a real job or at the very least a girlfriend by now. No, instead he’s researching unsolved murders and hunting goddamn vampires across the east coast with his chronically depressed and borderline suicidal brother and friends and only going up to the city to kill vampires. Mikey sighs; Frank’s already accepted he’s gonna be dead by thirty, he might as well too. Mikey rolls out of bed because he can’t stand to wallow in self-pity any longer and it’s ten in the morning and they have a long-ass day ahead of them.

 

“Get yer grubby little cheeto fingers off my stuff, Frank!” Mikey yells as Frank stuffs his mouth with a fistful of cheetos, wiping his hands on Mikey’s pants and guzzles down the rest of a soda to his left. He scrunches his nose up and sticks his tongue out in disgust.

“Eeeugh! Keep your diet shit away from me, Gee!”

Gerard snatches it back and shakes the empty soda can. “That was my soda, you bitch! I’m sitting right here!” Frank throws the bag of cheetos at him and giggles as he runs behind the bed. He and Gerard throw shit at each other for a couple minutes before Mikey grows weary and snaps.

“Could either of you actually focus for more than one minute? Is that possible?” Frank pouts as he sits back down next to Mikey and cries out as Gerard flicks him on the forehead.

“Mikeeeyyy, he _flicked_ me…” Mikey rubs his head and groans and remembers why he always puts this off until the last minute; they both literally turn into middle schoolers at the mention of any sort of normal and sane plan. Well... turn into is wrong. Mikey would give Gerard a usual 16/17 under that _so_ cool exterior and Frank a 15 at most and when work comes in, they age back a year by the minute. He didn’t deserve this cruel and very unusual punishment.

“Are you listening now?” Frank nods sullenly. “So repeat the plan back to me.” Frank looks up and scratches his neck.

“We’re getting to the club at 9:00 and I’m going in at 9:30… drag show starts at ten so Jenny ‘n her friends should be there same time as us. Gee’s gonna come in a little after me and he’s post up in the corner, watching the front and you and Ray are in the van with surveillance out back and I’m at the bar, double fisting a coupla screwdrivers, ready to make my move…” Mikey nods, surprised that’s Frank actually on top of this.

“That’s actually uh…really good but you’re not drinking and please don’t say fisting.”

“Oh, c’ _mon_ ! I have to hook up with Gerard’s ex, a _girl_ I should add, I get to drink a little!”

“Hook up? You don’t havta--” Gerard starts in a squeaky voice but Mikey repeats more sternly,

“You’re _not_ drinking, Frank.” Frank rolls his eyes.

“Fine, whatever.” Mikey raises his eyebrows in expectation and just receives a dumb-founded look of confusion back from Frank.

“Finish! What’s your plan on getting her to actually trust you?”

“I mean she just wants to feed so I should get her to wanna do that? I don’t know, hit on her?”

“No!” Mikey and Gerard yell in unison. Mikey continues, “I mean, kinda but make it obviously gay, which I guess shouldn’t be too hard there. Just … work yer magic.” Frank squints.

“Great, okay, so after your ex-girlfriend’s sucked the life outta me and tossed me into the Hudson, Gee, you better be ready to avenge me or whatever.” Gerard blanches and looks away. Mikey catches his expression and can tell Frank’s only half joking.

“C’mon man, don’t joke like that, you’re not gonna die.” Frank smiles nervously on a side of his mouth.

“I mean, maybe if my blood alcohol content were a little higher…”

“Listen here, you sonuvabitch. You’re gonna get your ass looking twinkier than ever and come out the same because she’s not gonna fuckin’ kill you, okay? You don’t need to drink to do that and if you so much as get a scratch on you, I’ll kill you my damn self.” Mikey grins at him and musses up his hair. Frank snorts.

“Thanks _Ma_.”

“Yeah, I hate ya kids.”

* * *

 

Gerard sweeps Frank’s hair back and drapes his rosary over his head, gazing into his eyes. Frank’s pupils dilate and flash between green and blue from the club. Gerard doesn’t break the stare as even as Frank’s eyes dart to around the van, actively trying to mask the fear screaming behind them.

“Oh babe, oh honey, I never thought you’d ask…” Frank says in a cracking and giggling effeminate voice. Gerard smiles.

“Shut up, asshole.” His chest flutters as he looks at him, he’s terrified and his stomach feels like it’s gonna drop out of him if he’s not careful but in that second he feels confident. For just that minute, he has a strong feeling that they’re gonna go through this with no problems and hey, maybe Jenny didn’t even have to die. Maybe she hadn’t killed those people and she was still that same sweet girl from upstate that he still cared deeply for even after all these years, despite the shaky breakup and all that shit they’d told each other. She probably didn’t give a rat’s ass about him and he didn’t mind; he deserved that after leading her on for so long. Just the thought of her being the first vampire they would ever figure out how to cure would be enough for him.

It was a stupid fantasy, it was completely ridiculous to even entertain the notion that she hadn’t completely succumbed to her bloodlust, but seeing Frank giggle and grin back at him gave him a surge of bravery. It was love, it was that whole ridiculous being gut-wrenchingly in love with him thing that was giving him this childish optimism and the anxiety courses through his body again.

“Gee, I really appreciate the gesture ‘n all but I don’t think a rosary’s gonna do much--” Frank says, pulling nervously at the cross.

“It’s silver.” Gerard explains.

“What is?”

“The cross, it’s silver.” Frank’s eyes widen and he drops the cross as his mouth falls open in a silent gasp.

“Jeee _sus_ this must be worth a fortune! Why’re you givin’ this to me, y’know I’m gonna lose this!” Gerard grins and shakes his head.

“It’s for protection. Vampires can’t really touch rosaries but silver is deadly, I mean, their skin burns up on contact, it’s wicked nasty...” Gerard laughs nervously and Frank pulls a face. “the point is she won’t be able to suck your blood, at least …  not as easily.” Frank smiles genuinely and gazes back at Gerard with his flashing eyes, the fear subsiding a little.

“I just use it to check if I’ve turned into a vampire overnight.” Gerard adds, smirking to ease the intense awkward silence created from plucking his heart off his sleeve and pinning it to Frank’s chest.

Frank scratches the back of his neck and runs a bead between his fingers. He twitches his nose and mumbles under his breath, still smiling to himself, “Thanks … thanks a lot, really.”

Gerard nods and mutters a ‘yeah’ as he watches Frank get up and start to head out. Something in him stops him.

“Wait--”  His heart thumps hard against his chest and moves up to his throat, his palms get clammy as he tries to find something to say to him but his brain is set on one thing and it’s _completely_ inappropriate for this situation. It sits there and burns behind his lips like it has for months; what he’d always been terrified to even mention and what he’d sobbed and confessed to his mother the previous night in a complete mental breakdown.

Now, _now_ of all times he wants to ask him if he wants to be his boyfriend.

“Mm?” Frank turns around, the light striking his face in sharp and angled streaks. God, he’s never looked more beautiful or terrified; that shaky tension begging behind those hasty black pencil-rimmed eyes. Gerard finds words and pushes the former thoughts behind a veil of confidence.

“Uh, love you, babe.” Frank smiles and pecks his cheek quickly.

“Love you too, Gee. See ya in there.” Gerard smacks his head as soon as Frank’s out of view. Why on _earth_ would he want to do this now, they’re outside a busy New York gay club preparing to kill his exgirl _f_ _iend_ , the most dangerous vampire on this side of the island. There’s better times to spring it on him to say the least. They could always talk once this was all done; yeah, once they were back at the hotel and they didn’t have anything to worry about for at least another couple of days, he could rest his head on his chest and Frank would run his hands through his hair delicately and hold him and he could let it come up naturally. At least that fantasy has some substance to it. Frank doesn’t need to be burdened with anything else right now and Gerard doesn’t need the rejection.

 

Frank silently scans the club with his eyes, sipping down his drink and leaning back against the bar. He has a fuzzy image of Jenny in his head, a cool goth girl that looks dead. Frank’s problem is obvious-- every goth girl looks dead and almost every other lesbian in the place could fit that description so now he’s stress-drinking and has absolutely no clue what he’s going to do.

“Work your magic.” he mutters angrily into his glass. The guys must’ve thought he had some kind of deathwish going through with this and he did, he just hated being patronized for it. He was going to try to pick up a girl in a gay club, Gerard’s fucking ex- _girlfriend_. If that wasn’t death on two legs, he didn’t know what was.

It wasn’t that he was a flop with the ladies; girls loved him, even if most of the time it was because he reminded them of a tiny and always furious younger brother. The main trouble with girl vamps that he had to ‘seduce’ or whatever was finding excuses to not get in bed and while keeping them from sucking his blood right there. At least guys got stupid horny and their thought processing went into the garbage as to why he wanted the living room window open while they were making out or why there’s a creaking set of footsteps getting louder. Straight guys …. straight guy vampires somehow existed and they were the worst of all. While he _could_ easily talk them into a handjob in the bathroom, they travel in packs and end up kicking the shit out of him afterwards so the night turns into a _vampiric_ gay-bashing.

Frank tries to look on the bright side for once. Maybe he’ll do well with Jenny, his signals are coming off super strong and definitely not the right signals but Gerard said that she was into that. Yeah, straight girls are weirdly into effeminate gay guys and hell, if she was gay like Mikey suspected, she might take him for a butch lesbian; it’s not like it hasn’t happened before. He just needed to amp it up which wasn’t going to be hard to do here and especially after he got a couple more drinks in him. Frank groans and downs the rest of his drink at that; Gerard should be doing this, it makes more _sense_. She’s his ex, she’ll be more likely to take him back than some short skinny twink at the bar.

“Some short skinny twink who’s gonna be drunk off his ass no thanks to those sons of fuckin’ bitches,” he notes quietly. Even Mikey would make more sense, she would recognize him in an instant (Mikey’s had that ridiculous hairstyle most of the time Frank’s known him and honestly, no one could ever forget that disaster) but she might try to hook up with him as vengeance or something. Maybe.

He searches the club again and makes eye contact with Gerard standing in the corner of the club with a sour look on his face; arms crossed, shades on indoors like the biggest asshole and that _stupid_ pimp coat. He looks so non-threatening in that ridiculous outfit, like he’s a priest trying to get in on New York nightlife or just a really dumb bouncer. He giggles softly and rolls his eyes; Gerard looks back and flashes a toothy grin quickly, giving him a thumbs up. Frank bites his lip and returns the gesture. His chest gets warm and fuzzy and the rosary heavy and cold against his neck. He brushes it off as the alcohol; he can’t even to try and factor those feelings in right now, he has to focus. Frank’s eyes dart quickly across the club anxiously for a third time and something flits in the corner of his eye.

He turns towards it and without a doubt, he spots what he’s 90% sure is Jenny standing in a group of four other girls. He’s only so sure it’s her because she’s nearly six feet tall and wearing a long flowing red dress with fishnets and chunky black combat boots; her hair falling over her shoulders in thick onyx curls contrasted hard against her porcelain skin and to put it lightly, she does not blend in. She looks just as out of place as Gerard does but she could snap his neck with a hand if he looked at her too long. Goddamnit, she looks so fucking cool, like someone Frank could actually be friends with and she just _has_ to be a cold-blooded killer.

Frank orders another drink and chugs it down. He staggers to the bathroom and looks in the mirror. Change in plan, he’s got this. He fucks up his hair and pulls the red eyeshadow out of his back pocket, smearing it around his eyes and splashing water on his face so it runs. The alcohol is starting to hit, his stomach gets hot and he can feel himself flushing and for once he’s glad, this is according to plan. Mikey’s voice buzzes in his earpiece.

“Yo Frank, where are you? Gerard can’t find you.”

“Geez, I’m jus’ in the bathroom. I found Jenny and there’s gonna be a change in plan.” Mikey sighs so loudly it causes loud static that makes Frank wince.

“What. What are you gonna do now?” Frank rubs his eyes hard so they look more red and splashes a little more water on his face.

“Straight girls love gay guys, right?”

“Sure, yeah, whatever.”

“Well  _obviously_ I can’t compete with that here but you know what they really get hot for?” Mikey exhales through his nose as to mask his irritability but it’s still very audible.

“What, Frank.”

“ _Heartbroken_ gay guys.”

“What? What does that mean? What are you gonna do?” Frank squints at himself in the mirror as he redoes his eyeliner but smudging it more.

“I look really fucked up really now, my face is already hot pink and I can make myself cry if I really commit myself to the part and--”

“Yeah, great Frank. How many drinks?”

“What?”

“Drinks, how many drinks have you had?” Frank gasps dramatically.

“Michael Way, you really think I would do that? I’m focused on this just as much as you--”

“You’re lisping words without s’s.” Frank groans loudly now.

“It was literally just two drinks, Mik _eeeyyyy._ I was about to have a panic attack and it was super watered down anyway.”

“This is a _terrible_ idea, Frank but it’s all we got so do it I guess.” Frank nods to no one and socks himself in the eye. He clutches it, cursing under his breath. That didn’t do shit and was incredibly stupid but he just wants out already.

The anxiety returns and mixed with the slight buzz, he feels like he’s going to puke. It’s only been an hour into the night and he’s already getting a weak stomach. He’s definitely going to puke when Jenny gets a stake through her chest, he can see it now.

He just wants to go back to the hotel room and pass out, he wants to go back to Jersey. He sniffles and thinks about his mom, he even misses her like hell all of a sudden. If he died tonight, she would have to bury her only son, her only son who hadn’t bothered to visit for six months or even give her _a_ thing to brag about to her friends; a job, a girlfriend, a life, nothing. His mind shifts to Gerard, he wants him. The fleeting thoughts he’d buried five minutes before make a strong comeback and he’s forcing back tears thinking about Gerard cradling him, his warmth enveloping him completely and soft kisses on the back of his neck, up near where his hair stops and down towards his shoulder blades just before he falls asleep on him. Frank blinks in confusion as he notices his cheeks are hot and wet, fuck! He’s actually made himself cry in a perfectly pathetic way.

He leaves the bathroom and sinks down against the wall, burying his face in his hands. At least he doesn’t have to pretend, he’s gonna look very ugly in a few seconds but when doesn’t he? He digs further into the wound, letting himself to think about every shitty aspect in his life for once; how his parents were younger than him when they had him, how he dropped out...got _kicked out_ of college in his sophomore year, how he couldn’t even get a steady job anywhere except that godforsaken gas station White Castle until they started hunting vampires, how he was _hunting vampires_ , how they were constantly on the road and no place ever felt like home, how he’d managed to keep a guy for nearing eight months but he couldn’t even kiss him in public, how this man he was in _love_ with was suffering twice as much as him and he was only making it worse being with him, how nobody cared, how unimportant he was to everyone else and how he was going to _kill_ a woman who just wanted to live her life. He whimpers weakly and pushes his face into his knees harder, he can’t go through with this. Frank feels a soft tap on his shoulder and a whisper somehow piercing through the noise of the club.

“Sweetie, hey, sweetie…” Frank looks up with a furious pout and dollar store makeup staining his cheeks. It’s her. Fuck.

* * *

 

“Hey sweetie, are you alright?” Jenny’s crouched to his level but she’s still looming over. She moves a very cool and slender hand to his cheek and strokes a lock of hair behind his ear and a strong pulling aches in his chest towards her. He squeezes his eyes shut and wipes them on his shirt, he might as well get it over with. He clears his throat and smiles nervously.

“No, uhm, yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine.” he covers his mouth with his hand as his face involuntarily moves back into a tearful grimace. Why’s he still crying? He was stronger than this, breaking down in a nightclub because he thought about a guy too long. This wasn’t _high school._ She rubs his shoulder soothingly and squeezes it, her grip surprisingly strong for such bony fingers.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He bites his lip and shakes his head.

“It’s just--It’s stupid, you don’t wanna hear about my problems.” He tries to study her face now that they’re closer; her skin is sculpted marble complete with faded spider-webbing cracks near her hairline, cheekbones protruding dramatically and a empathetic smile dancing across her thin white lips. He catches her eyes flicker between amber and yellow quickly and infrequently and Frank takes a shaky inhale, clutching at his racing heart.

“You sure?” Frank sighs and starts with his sloppily constructed story.

“It’s uhhhh… jus’... my boyfriend broke up with me and … it was our anniversary next week and--” the noise level in the club is feeding more into his teeming sensory discomfort and he’s about to start crying again from _that_.

Why’d he have to tell her the truth about the anniversary thing? It really was his and Gerard’s anniversary next week (counted from their first date, the sexually charged drunken making out on the road would add a couple more months). Maybe he wanted to do something special for it; it wasn’t a landmark one and they weren’t even boyfriends but despite what everyone seemed to think, he’s a sucker for that shit. He cared so much about that sappy dumb cheesy stuff, roses and chocolates and dinner dates with movies. Even small things; they’d been stuck in Baltimore during their six month anniversary but Gerard still took him out to a punk show, bought a couple bottles of cheap wine and went all out. He even kept him out of a pit fight and decked a guy that called them fags, that _had_ to be love.

“I’m so sorry, you want me to buy you a drink?” Frank nods; he needs another drink bad to get his mind off of all these insecurities. She leads him over to a table and pulls a chair out for him. Frank sits awkwardly and smears the makeup around his eyes some more.

“What would you like?”

“Uh… I don’t know, somethin’ strong.” Jenny goes to the bar to order the drinks and Frank exhales. He’s getting somewhere, even if it’s a bloodless watery grave at least it’s somewhere. She comes back with two tall glasses and sets one down in front of Frank as she slides fluidly into her chair. Frank then realizes he probably shouldn’t be drinking from a glass that he hadn’t watched and that someone with a history of murder brought to him but it doesn’t matter, all he needs to do is get her to take him somewhere alone. He doesn’t have to be conscious when Gerard kills her; he’s just foreign relations. He takes a swig from the drink and slams it back down on the table, squinting his eyes from the makeup starting to irritate his eyes.

“Breakups suck shit,” she says nonchalantly, sipping down her drink, “but you’re probably better off without him, you seem strong.”

“Has a guy ever broken up with you at a gay club?” he snickers back. He had exactly one guy on his mind and he was getting the feeling she knew.

“No,” she smiles, “God, no, that would’ve been something else…” she pauses for a second likes she’s remembering something, her pupils flash pure white and she shakes her head. Frank’s eyes widen at this display.

“Actually, almost.” she continues as if nothing happened, her eyes returned to their glowing amber state.

“Almost?” Jenny nods.

“Yeah, he was super closeted and we’d come here for drinks and the drag show every once ‘n a while.” Oh, God, they are actually gonna talk about Gerard; he almost wants to stop her but then she would know that he knows him and besides, he gets some dirt on Gee out of it.

“Ya didn’t know he was gay and you came _here_ with him?” Her eyebrows tug together and a wry smile creeps on her lips.

“I was twenty-three and he was my first serious boyfriend. Also he was… I don’t know, he was nice guy, I didn’t wanna believe it. I’m from Poughkeepsie, I didn’t even know that was a thing you could do ‘til I was nineteen.” Frank presses his lips together and sips from the straw in his drink.

“I betcha he didn’t either.” She smiles, her eyes sad, and continues.

“Probably not. He was a really sweet guy but he was _so_ repressed.” God, that’s Gerard Way if he ever knew him. “It wasn’t even really that he closeted so much, he just didn’t want to acknowledge that we weren’t working out. We were here one time and we’d both had too many drinks and he’d get weepy when he was really drunk…” Yeah. “He tried to come out, he was telling me all the it’s not you, it’s me shit and that it wasn’t my fault and I… I was extremely drunk too and I said shit to him I’m not really proud of...” She goes quiet for a second and Frank stares back confused.

“But… you said he didn’t break up with you?” Jenny nods.

“He passed out before he could actually do it.” Frank chokes trying not to spew the rest of his drink.

“What?”

“He got alcohol poisoning, they had to pump his stomach in…” she looks around “ _that_ booth over there.” Frank’s stomach weakens more and he can’t tell if it’s just one of the normal ones, hearing this story, or the drink. Probably all three. Jenny sees the look on his face.

“It’s not the most fun story but it usually makes most people feel better that they’ll never have to see their boyfriend’s stomach get pumped surrounded by drag queens that just heard every excruciatingly personal word you yelled at each other about your sex life for the past hour.” Frank clenches his jaws and sucks in.

“That fuckin’ sucks, I’m sorry.” She cocks her head.

“That didn’t make you feel better, _I’m_ sorry.” Frank shakes his head and stirs his drink. “If it helps, he did come out.” Frank raises his eyebrows and bites his lip, oh, _he_ knows. Frank finishes off his drink and groans. He really should get this moving quicker.

“Wouldya mind helpin’ me to a cab?” he says, starting to stand up. His legs buckle underneath him and he has to grip tight to the table to keep from falling. Jenny grabs his arms to ease him back down and his head’s starting to bob up and down tiredly. He blinks to try to dispel whatever spell he’s under but as he does, he feels it grow stronger. He glances towards the corner, Gerard’s not paying attention, goddamnit. Jenny’s eyes flicker that white again and she looks towards the corner.

“You know him?” Frank’s tongue falls heavy in his mouth and his chest turns cold.

“W-who?” he stutters quietly. She nods towards him.

“The one standin’ by the door, the one who thinks he’s a goth hustler.” He shakes his head and his breathing slows, each exhale harder than the last. He looks up at her, his fingernails digging into his jeans trying to push the mind control or drugs or whatever away. Two sanguine streams trickle symmetrically from each eye and disappear into her jaw, then his vision blurs in sharp and out, sudden black as he hits cool linoleum.

 

There’s a blindingly bright flash on their cameras and they all turn to static. Ray watches Mikey throw off his headset and punch at buttons randomly, cursing under his breath. Ray tries to fiddle with a couple wires and nothing happens, whatever the hell is happening right now is not good. Suddenly, all the cameras switch back on. Everybody in there looks fine, a little shaken but as not nearly as scared as they should be. Mikey pulls his headset back on and starts muttering into it, trying to fix the inputs. Ray looks closely; Gerard’s still in the corner, much jumpier than before and then Ray squints hard at the camera Frank and Jenny were in. His mouth drops slightly as he sees what’s wrong or at least, what he doesn’t see, which is Frank and Jenny. She caused a brief blackout or fucked with the cameras long enough to take off with him. He knew they were in way over their heads on this.

“Hey, Mikey…” Ray says quietly, trying his best to remain calm. Mikey glances over his shoulder distracted.

“Ray.” he says wiping his glasses on his shirt collar and tapping the headset, still testing it. “What’s up?”

“Don’t freak out or anything--” he has Mikey’s full attention now. He looks directly at him with a terrifying cold glare.

“What.”

“Frank and Jenny are gone.” Mikey pushes him over and switches frantically through the cameras.

“Oh, no… no, no, no, no, _no_. No!” he tests the headset and Ray moves up to the front seat, turning the key in the ignition so the van chugs to a start. He moves to the back and rubs Mikey’s arm reassuringly.

“You get him on?” Mikey shakes his head and rubbing his eyes and nose on his shirt, starting to sniffle and his voice breaking.

“No, it’s just static.”

“What about Gee? He’s still in there?” Mikey nods and switches to Gerard’s channel and amplifies him over the car speakers.

“Gee, you there?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“You know where Frank is?” Gerard stays quiet as Ray watches him look around.

“Shit…” he whispers into it. “Oh _shit_ , no…” They watch Gerard pace around and look down every table. He starts speaking at normal volume again but he has that shaky on the verge on tears voice too now. “You can’t talk to him?”

“No, his channel’s just static.” Mikey says. Ray leans over to Mikey’s shoulder and pulls the mic up to his mouth.

“Gee, just come out here and we can figure it out.” Gerard whimpers a soft agreement and they watch him walk briskly towards the back. The passenger door opens and Gerard throws himself down on the seat, leaning over the back and staring at them.

“‘Kay, so _what_ the hell’s happening?” Ray climbs up to the driver’s seat and Mikey starts packing away the surveillance equipment.

“We’re going to her apartment.” Gerard makes a face.

“Why? They could be anywhere, she’s not _stupid_. She wouldn’t just take him home.”

“I don’t think she knows that anybody’s looking for her. She’s smart as hell but she’s not exactly covering her tracks.” Gerard bites his lower lip until it turns white and breaks slightly.

“It’s my fault.” he whispers, wiping his slightly bloodied lip on the back of his hand. Ray shakes his head and throws the stick into reverse.

“We’re not doin’ this now.” Mikey passes Gerard an iron stake from the back and he tucks it into a belt loop, still wiping at the corners of his eyes.

“I was supposed to be _watching_ him, Ray, he disappeared and I didn’t even notice--” Ray shakes his head and turns on the radio.

“There was a blackout, _she_ caused the blackout, Gee. It happened on purpose.” Mikey moves between Ray and Gerard, looking at Ray with genuine shock.

“Wait, _she_ caused the blackout?”

“Yeah Mikey, can you just tell me her address again?” Mikey flails his arms around trying to gesture at him quickly.

“Just turn right at the next street and keep going, it’s not that far. It’s the Ghostbusters lookin’ place. So, Ray, _she_ caused the blackout?” Ray flicks on the turn signal and slams his foot on the brake as he’s cut off by a taxi. He digs his nails into the wheel to keep from yelling, “MotherFUCKER”, muttering it instead as blaring honks scream at them from all sides. He weaves through cars fast enough to make Gerard and Mikey too carsick to say stupid irrelevant shit and finally screeches to a stop in front of a really old looking building. Fuck, Mikey _was_ right about the Ghostbusters thing. Did Jenny _really_ live in the Ghostbusters apartment? Gerard sits for a minute and looks up, panic stricken hard across his face.

“She’s uh, she’s on the fourteenth floor, right Mikes?” Mikey nods solemnly.

“Page us if you need backup,” Gerard begins to smile nervously and shake his head but Mikey squeezes his shoulder tight and looks into his eyes. “I’m serious, she’s gonna fuck with your head hard.” Gerard twists his mouth.

“This is something I needa do alone, Mikey. She’s my ex-girlfriend and she took Frank because she knew about us … or at least me.”

“If you’re in there more than twenty minutes, we’re coming in. You’re not dying for any of us, not even for Frank.” Gerard agrees with a little hesitation and runs towards the building. Ray keeps the van running and watches Mikey rub his face into his hands.

“So ten minutes?” Mikey sighs, grabs a wood stake from under the seat and begins sharpening it with a knife.

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

Frank starts getting white hot flashes as he begins to wake up, his peripheral vision blinking in and out. He instinctively pulls his arms, rope scratching his wrists and ankles. He’s tied up, great. He takes a couple of deep breaths; this isn’t the first time he’s woken up in a stranger’s house tied up, he just needs to calm down and wiggle loose or at least grab the switchblade in his back pocket. He squeezes his hands, desperately trying to pull them out and winces as the rope chafes his wrists more. These are good knots and Frank doesn’t want to think about the implications of that.

He investigates the room, he can’t even tell if it _is_ a room; it’s near pitch black except for a bare lightbulb swinging over his head like an interrogation room and there’s nothing else except him and the chair. He glances left and double takes when a figure appears in his peripheral, almost screaming. He wiggles back in the chair and squeezes his eyes shut in anticipation as it approaches him. Something cold presses against his neck. He exhales through his nose heavily and goosebumps collect up his body as Jenny’s face comes into his vision, harshed by the light.

“Leaving so soon?” Her voice is much more guttural and raspy now, her face just slightly different shades of white and her eyes are that clouded translucent that flashed at him in the club, smudged away ruddy red streaks caked onto her cheeks. A chill runs deep down his spine and Frank kicks his feet and tries to scream again. Her hand squeezes his face and his voice dies in his throat and despite his best efforts, Frank can only manage to blubber pathetically,

“Wh-Where am I? Why am I here?” he looks around again, the corners of his vision blur when he moves his head too much and it feels like he’s swallowed glass. He squeezes his eyes shut harder to stop the hot tears moving up to them already. Where the hell is Gerard? He’s usually here at this point, saving his dumb ass from certain death. She runs her fingers up to his quivering lips and he lets out a weak whimper. She laughs.

“I thought you would want a little more dignity than bleeding out in an alley.” Frank’s nose twitches as he sniffles quietly and cooly mutters,

“I’m not playin’ any fuckin’ games, just kill me ‘nd get it over with.”

“Oh, I will but I need your little boyfriend to come here first. He’s probably worried sick about you,” she says as she taps his nose.

“Who are you talking about?” her voice turns into a searing shaking hiss.

“You fucking know! Gerard! He was _there,_ what the fuck was he doin’ there?” Frank shakes his head.

“Gerard’s got nothin’ to do with this and he’s _not_ my boyfriend--”

“Ohhh _right_ . He never could ask you, could he? He always avoided the topic and pretended to be fine with you seeing other guys besides him and you just happen to be fucking my ex, there’s nothing more to this!” Frank’s stomach drops. How does she know so much about them? Vampires can’t read minds that well, and _especially_ if it’s something that Gerard’s feeling across the goddamn place. Gerard really wasn’t okay with him seeing other guys? He’d been the one to suggest it and Frank went along with it. Then he realizes he’d never seen Gerard hook up with anyone besides him since they agreed and suddenly it’s all fitting together.

“He doesn’t …” Frank feels his eyes welling up but he shakes his head hard. She’s trying to get to him and it’s working really well, he can’t give her the satisfaction. “Fuck you, you’re not gonna touch him.”

“At least he could kiss me when he wasn’t drunk. ” Frank bites his lip hard and his cheeks burn hot and dampen as the tears start coming.

“Fuck you.” he says quietly but she continues.

“You think he actually loves _you_ ?” she laughs in a deep croak, “Who would love _you_ ? Gerard only fucks you because he thinks he can’t do better and he’s right. They all would be better off without you, even-- _especially_ your mother, you’ve been nothing but a burden on them…” she lists off every thought that’s raced through his head in the past hour and it starts getting the better of him. His chest heaves as he breathes shakily and sniffles loudly, making a pathetic noise in the back of his throat to keep from bawling. His entire face turns bright red and he can’t stop crying no matter how hard he tries.

“Shut up!” he shakes his head angrily. “Shut the fuck up, you don’t know what you’re talking about! You don’t know anything about me or Gerard, fuck you!” she smiles and tries to wipe his face with a tissue but he spits at her feet and scoots back. That only makes the grin broaden across her cracked white lips, her fangs fully visible.

“You put up this much of a fight with Gerard? Bet he likes that.” She moves in towards him and tilts his head back with her hand. Frank’s throat gets thick and his breath grows more frantic and he can only let out whiny incoherent fragments as her mouth rests against his neck. It’s strangely cold and wet and he can feel her teeth start to dig in. He closes his eyes in preparation. Frank doesn’t wanna die, not right now, not as what he can figure as a (literally) demonic hate crime and _especially_ not by her.

She pulls back suddenly, rubbing her mouth in pain and her eyes flash back to amber as she looks at his neck confused and almost scared. Frank looks down wide-eyed; he’s not bleeding, fuck, he’s not even scratched.

“Wh-What…” he stumbles. She pulls down the collar of his shirt and jumps back.

“Why do you have that?” she growls, her eyes flashing dangerously between orange and white. Frank notices the rosary’s black glass beads start to turn a physically hot red and he shakes his head back at her.

“I don’t- I dunno, it’s jus’ a rosary! I’m-I’m Italian?” She makes a grimace and turns around as she hears something. Frank hears it too; the sound of a door quietly clicking open and muted footsteps and whispers. Frank bites his lip and holds in a gasp. That’s Gerard, that _has_ to be Gerard. She looks at him as soon as that thought comes over him, smiles then disappears in a cloud of smoke.

He pulls his wrists hard until he feels a painful scratch against one and it slips out, a red and raw ring now decorating his wrist. He grabs his knife and saws at the other wrist, then bends over and loosens the rope around his ankles. As he stands up, a sharp pain stabs at his legs and he falls to his knees; she had to have drugged him, the corners of his vision are blurring in and out and he can barely walk. He then hears a loud thud from outside and Gerard’s choked cries, he can recognize his voice anywhere but he gets more scared when he can’t hear him. He wobbles towards the door, regaining his balance, gripping his switchblade tight in one fist and the rosary in the other. He limps out the front door and looks around, where did they go? Frank looks down and follows a faint trail of blood leading to the staircase.

Jenny’s floating a foot off the ground, holding Gerard up to the wall by his throat, his hair falling in his face and gasping like a fish out of water. His face shades into a deeper pink and his eyes start to roll back in his head and Frank doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until he’s jumped up, grabbed on tight and plunged a four-inch blade between her shoulders. She drops Gerard like a pile of bricks and screeches as she flies backwards up the stairs, slamming Frank against the door. Jenny throws her arms out and Frank falls to the ground, before he can get up she grabs him and his vision blacks for a little.

He feels a sharp quick pinch and his neck quickly gets hot and wet as the skin breaks. The warmth spreads down his shirt collar and chest and she’s pinned him down against the floor, her cold lips suctioned against his throat. Her left hand cradles his head almost lovingly, softly pulling it to her left as her right hand keeps his arm down with an icy grip. Frank’s eyes start to flutter and a cry stays stuck in his chest. She pulls away with a dark stained mouth and looks over her shoulder fearfully, then back down at Frank. Her eyes change to a glowing light brown that Frank hasn’t seen until this point and her face drops into a deep look of regret. She mouths an apology before disappearing into a cloud of smoke and leaves Frank in a spreading pool of his own blood.


	5. dry 'n dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter of mamng! boy, is this one nuts. again, thanks to mac for his wonderful au, i love having written for it :)

Gerard blinks and his body is launched back with a swift and firm breath taking blow to his chest. He trips back on the stairs and shields his head as he tumbles down the concrete steps and lands in a lump on the landing; motionless, unable to catch his breath, and every bone in his body feeling as if it’s turned to dust. Jenny flies over his cowering form and pulls him up by the throat, pushing him back against the wall and digging her fingernails into the sides of his neck until they begin to crack. Gerard kicks his legs frantically and pulls weakly at her tight ice cold grip.

“Did I ruin your little mission?” she whispers harshly with a serrated grin. Gerard chokes and makes the mistake of looking into her eyes for any hope that she’s still in there, but he’s greeted with bright white irises that meld into the sclera; blood dribbling from the lower lids down her already stained, cracked, bony cheeks. He barely manages to mumble her name but she bites her bottom lip, furrows her brow, and squeezes tighter in response.

“Mm, it’s so nice to see you never got over that martyr complex of yours, I’ll be able to feed for _months_ because of you and your boyfriend.” Gerard’s chokes get quieter and more strained and he musters up the rest of his energy to tug hard at her hands with no success. His throat burns and his breathing gets slower and slower; her nails puncture through his skin and trickles of blood begin to pool up on her hand.

He’s accepted now that she’s going to kill him. She’s going to kill him, drain and probably desecrate his dead body, then dump him in the Hudson with Frank’s. At least they’d be together, he thinks as his eyes move back, his legs fall heavy, and he takes a few final croaking gasps.

A figure appears from the shadows behind her and in a slow blur from oxygen deprivation, he watches it grab onto her and bury something into her back. She lets out a long blood-curdling shriek and drops Gerard, who immediately collapses into a heap. His chest rises and falls heavily with each ragged breath and his heartbeat thumps with purpose in his neck. He fumbles around for his stake and looks quickly over his shoulder for Jenny. Now she and the figure are nowhere to be seen.

“Jenny, you goddamn _bitch_ , come finish the job!” he shouts hoarsely, he might as well. He’s already in waking state of shock because he lost Frank and can only assume that he’s dead or at least bleeding to death right now. Plus, he’s still a little stupid from being nearly choked into unconsciousness. Gerard coughs a little bit of blood into his collar and slowly pulls himself up the stairs and into her apartment, wielding the squirt gun filled with holy water from his hip. He whips around, catching Jenny skulking up behind him just in time. He unloads the quite small but extremely potent amount of holy water in her face and she reels back, desperately rubbing at her sizzling wet cheeks and cursing profusely.

“Son of a bitch!” she cries and disappears into a cloud of smoke. Gerard turns around several times and inspects the apartment quickly. He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute at the blood splattered sight in front of him as a fretful reassurance that’s she’s not projecting anything into his head.

“Frank?” he whispers, his voice shaking as he does; one clammy fist gripping at his jeans and the other white-knuckled against the cold iron stake. His heart thumps louder than ever as he hears a puff and turns around, launching himself at the smoke without thinking; stake in hand and yelling in a terrified pitch from the sheer adrenaline racing through his body.

She appears and staggers back, unable to get out of his warpath fast enough. Her eyes widen with dread and there’s a loud hissing slice, thunk, and thud as the metal dives through her chest and slams her back against the wall. Blood splashes up on Gerard’s face and he gags a little at the heat of it; it’s hot, nearly boiling hot, the hot right after a vampire feeds. Gerard forcibly swallows the vomit and pit of anxiety that gives him away and squeezes the stake tighter. She gasps and looks down at the wound in genuine shock; her clouded eyes flickering to amber then instantly back to those nightmarish whites. She gurgles but a grin spreads across her face and she cackles in a deep raspy tone to herself. Gerard’s eyebrows pull together in confusion.

“You’re an even worse fag than you were a boyfriend.” she says in an even lower register. He shakes his head to dispel her from his thoughts; whatever the hell is inside her is doing this and he sussed out that it’s using his insecurities against him. It’s so much more than vampirism at this point but he has to keep telling himself that she wouldn’t say this, that the energies are just fizzling out and hissing their final farewells as they are wont to do. They’ve succeeded in their work this time because he can’t help responding,

“What--what does that mean?” Her laugh deepens more. She winces as she coughs out a viscous black fluid and pushes Gerard’s hands off the stake, pulls it out of her chest and lets it clatter loudly to the floor. She then pushes him slightly with still enough strength to send him crashing hard through a chair. She takes a couple of steps and doubles over next to the couch, clutching the gaping hole in her chest.

“Your fucking boy toy over there.” she hisses, pointing to the middle of the empty living room. Gerard glances back again and sees a faltering image of Frank briefly in the stark light; he’s lying in a dark puddle of something emanating from his neck and he’s barely conscious. He runs over and Frank disappears and he’s alone with Jenny again. His heart leaps to his throat and he looks back at Jenny with a tearful look of panic on his face. His mind’s seeing something she wants him to and she knows it, she knows every single fucking thing he’s thinking because now he can barely breathe and his body feels frozen.

She uses the couch to pull herself up but Gerard grabs a small crucifix from his coat and points it at her, picking the stake back up and holding it above his head with his other hand. She stands there with a hand trying to squeeze to hole shut and smiles with a razor sharp, deep red grin.

“What did you do to him?” he whimpers, tears starting to push a clean route down his bloody cheeks. She spits a heavy glob of blood and bile onto his face and groans, catching herself on the couch again. He pushes the crucifix against the hand holding her chest and cries louder,

“What the hell did you do to him?” Her hand sparks up and flames eat at her fingers furiously and turn them ashen, the smell of burning flesh stinging his nostrils. She falls back, shaking her hand against her tattered stained dress, and her voice turns into a deep, bone vibrating buzz.

“It was just a little _suck_ , don’t tell me you haven’t done the same…” she stops as smoke exhales from her lips and her body seizes up. Gerard recoils in horror as blood runs down the sides of her face from her eyes, nose, ears, and mouth; the wound in her chest turning a nasty acidic green. Gerard covers his eyes and dry heaves near the couch as she convulses, still holding the crucifix out in front of him for protection.

Her eyes open suddenly, filmy and bleary but back to the chestnut brown he remembered so painfully fondly, darting back and forth desperately.

“Gerard?” she whispers, scared and hoarse. Gerard falls to his knees next to her and chokes back a sob as he holds her face in his hands. This happens sometimes, the vampirism wears off before they die and they just lay there with a hole in their chest, a few more painful minutes of life, and overwhelming regret. Gerard would end up watching them writhe and cry and he usually ended up sobbing and puking his guts out in the corner until they died.

She didn’t deserve this; she deserved some sort of dignity but she didn’t need to suffer anymore and Gerard gets the sudden feeling that he’s been stabbed through the heart himself because _he_ did this to her.

“Gerard, I’m so sorry…” she whispers again as she looks around. “I don’t… I don’t know where he went but he’s- he’s really hurt and I didn’t meanta-- it wasn’t me, that _thing_ you saw wasn’t me and oh my _God,_ I’m sorry ‘bout your neck-- the hunger just got _so_ bad and I know you love him--” Gerard wipes his nose and makes a pitiful noise at the back of his throat, confessions pouring out of him.

“God, no Jen, I know. It’s not your fault… none of this is your fault, it’s mine. I’m sorry, I was such a dick while we were together and I led you on… I shoulda told you earlier-” she smiles sweetly and stops him with an ice cold hand to his cheek.

“You’re still upset about that?” Gerard squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head.

“If I hadn’t fucked up so bad…” Jenny smiles and shakes her head back at him.

“We’d still be together seven years later, married with kids, and my heart wouldn’t literally be broken?” she coughs weakly in an attempt at a laugh. “Y’know, you’re a sweet guy but you’re so goddamn clueless.” Gerard blinks stupidly as a confirmation. She sighs.

“It wasn’t just you.”

“Wha-What d’ya mean?” she coughs hard and moans.

“I mean that I dated you because I wanted so bad to be attracted to guys, at the very least feminine guys and not _girls_ ,” Gerard stares at her wide-eyed and looks around as she continues, “and I loved you, but it was the same way that you loved me.” she pauses thinking for a minute. “I don’t fucking understand completely it either and it sucks but it’s not even like it really matters anyway. I haven’t been able to have any sort of relationship since I was turned and I just… thanks. Truly… thanks for letting me outta this, Ger.”

“Jenny, oh God, I didn’t know that you’re… I mean, you knew how I felt and I was so wrapped in with myself to see that you were--that you _are_ a lesbian and I… I…” he says, biting his lip so that it bleeds again.

“It’s okay, ya big idiot. Yeah, you had alotta shit goin’ on in your life then and you’re just dumb, it’s not ya fault,” she says, smiling and poking his nose. “Besides, I don’t want you to feel bad about that anymore, we just weren’t meant to work out.” she strokes his bloodied face delicately.

“It was denial on both sides.” she looks down at the hole and laughs; it sounds just like her old self and if Gerard wasn’t already on the very teetering edge of having a full-on breakdown right there, he’s crossed it. “Call an ambulance willya? I look like fuckin’ Carrie over here and I just wanna get a little cleaned up before my mom has to see me.” Gerard nods and sniffles.

“Yeah, we got guys for that, you don’t needa worry anymore, Jen.” Jenny smiles sadly and rubs his cheek.

“You look better.” Gerard begins to shake his head but Jenny shakes hers first. “I’m sure you still have stuff to work through but I saw the way you looked at him, the way he looked at you. You looked really happy. And he cares about you a lot. More than you think.” Gerard blinks the tears away and she coughs again weaker. Then the heavy sinking feeling deepens in his chest.

“I killed you… I killed you, Jen. _God_ , I’m going to hell, I’ve killed so many vampires, so many _people_ and I killed you, Jenny!” he whimpers, clutching the sides of her face desperately and crying into her dress.

“Good.” she whispers. “Good. We’re monsters, Gee. I killed people… I killed _so_ many people and …” tears start running from her bloody eyes a little. “You need to go find Frank. You can still save him.” she beams softly at him and he barely manages to return it. She whispers one final thanks before her eyes close slowly and her hand falls back. She looks at peace for the first time since he’s seen her.

Gerard shakes his head, taking a heavy breath and sobs quietly into her shoulder. He wipes his face on his shirt and gently lifts her body, laying her on the couch and whispers two acts of Contrition, one for her and one for him because she deserved forgiveness at the very least. His chest hurts so much and he’s mostly wishing for death but he brings himself to stand up and turn back. He spots a fresh red puddle oozing out from behind the bedroom door. He makes his way slowly through the door and there Frank is like she showed him; lying on the floor, grabbing at his neck and whimpering softly as blood steadily gushes out from it.

“Oh, mother _fuck._ ”

 

“Oh God, oh God… Jenny, she… Gee, you’re here!” Frank splutters, grasping at his throat and blood dripping from the corner of his mouth as Gerard fumbles around the apartment for something, _anything_ to stop the flow.

“Gerard..” he croaks again weakly and tears burn down Gerard’s cheeks. He couldn’t die too, he could _not._.

“Frank, Frankie, hold on, okay?” He grabs a bottle of peroxide and his scarf and leans over him, dumping out the peroxide on the giant gash in Frank’s neck. It fizzles loudly and Frank almost screams.

“Ow! What’s that gonna help, I’m losing all my blood already!” Gerard wipes his eyes and apologizes.

“What happened?”

“What d’ya think? Yer girlfriend damn near ripped my fuckin’ throat out!” Frank groans, Gerard gags and almost vomits right there. Frank’s gotten bruises, scratches, broken bones, a burst appendix (that was weird), blood drained externally ( _t_ _hat_ was weird) and all sorts of shit should’ve killed him at this point from just the accruement alone but he’s never been _bitten_ . At least, not while they were hunting. In fact, the one time he had been bitten was how they’d gotten in this profession in the first place and that was _barely_ punctured, just nasty infected.

Blood’s jetting out of a deep laceration jagged from his left collarbone towards his upper jaw at an alarming speed, the front of his shirt’s already soaked with it and Gerard can’t look at him without really feeling the acid rise to his already burning throat. He grabs the small vial of holy water from his inner coat pocket and unscrews the top shakily. Frank gets a puzzled look in his face as Gerard brushes Frank’s hair back and wipes a little bit of blood from the corner of his mouth.

“What’re ya-what’re ya doin’?” Gerard’s hand trembles as he pours the smallest amount of holy water on his neck and crosses himself, muttering a Hail Mary under his breath. Frank winces and yelps,

“Jesus on the _cross,_ that fucking _burns_! Don’t use that shit on me!” Gerard wraps the scarf tight around Frank’s neck and wipes his blood-stained hands on his jeans before slipping his arms under his back and knees. Frank goes limp and his eyes are already fluttering; his lips spouting jumbled words and desperately repeated prayers in whimpering soft blubbers.

“Gee, it-mmm _fuck_ it hurts so much, I don’t wanna die yet, I don’t wanna die…” Gerard sniffles and squeezes him close.

“You’re gonna be fine, Frankie, I _promise._ Just stay awake for me, okay honey?” he whispers in his ear. Frank shakes his head but Gerard lifts Frank and buckles under his weight a little before lumbering out to the van; Frank nestling his head between Gerard’s neck and shoulder and wrapping his arms around him in a sort of embrace.

Gerard bumps into Ray and Mikey sneaking up the stairs; Mikey’s dragging a baseball bat with nails driven through it like it’s half his weight and with that spindly figure, it probably is. Ray’s brandishing a long iron stake in each hand and he has his hair back in a shower cap and seeing their frankly kind of goofy hunting looks scares the shit out of Gerard, causing him to trip and almost drop Frank. Mikey jumps and falls flat on his face, glasses shattering instantly and Ray screams up an octave.

“The fuck you guys doin’?” Gerard says, not quite yelling but his voice trembling loudly. Mikey sits up and looks sadly at his broken glasses, pathetically trying to push them back together, then squints at Gerard and Frank.

“Is Frank… okay?”

“No, Mikey, he’s bleeding all over the goddamn place because he’s fine! You can’t be that fucking blind!” Gerard snaps back. Frank groans and tugs at Gerard’s shirt.

“C’ _mon_ , Gee, your scarf ain’t helpin’ much.” he whines. Gerard adjusts his hold on Frank and pushes his way out, Mikey using the back of his shirt to lead himself out and Ray’s already out the door and in the running van, brushing clutter off the seats. Gerard drapes Frank across the backseat and his breathing has grown significantly louder and faster, his eyes squeezed shut in pain.

“Let’s go!” Gerard yells at wide-eyed Ray who seems to be frozen in shock. They all lurch forward as he slams his foot on the gas and begins racing through traffic. Gerard huddles over Frank’s shivering barely conscious body and Mikey demands an explanation as he adjusts some makeshift goggle-glasses on his face.

“What the hell happened to Frank?” Gerard strokes Frank’s face and presses his hand on his chest and rubs it as Frank chokes back tears.

“Didya call th’guys?”

“For Frank?”

“Yeah, moron, while we’re driving to the E.R! I meant the guys that are supposta pick up Jenny!”

“Yeah, they’re on the way! Is she actually dead?”

“Yeah- at least- I think so. Just… obviously I didn’t have time to clean up the scene and make sure they fix her up good before they take her to the morgue. She deserves that at the very least.” Mikey stares back at him with bewilderment.

“You don’t know if she’s _dead_?”

“Jesus, _yeah_ , Mikey she’s dead, I’m just… I’m trying not to have a total existential crisis here, can you please not?” Mikey nods but quickly changes back to the more pressing matter on the table.

“But again, what the _fuck_ happened in there?” Gerard looks up with tears streaming down his face.

“Frank…  he got--he got bit.” Frank sniffles and squeezes tighter at Gerard’s arm with the hand he’s been desperately gripping Gerard’s rosary the entire time and looks over at Mikey.

“D’ya think I’m gonna turn?” Mikey shakes his head in disbelief.

“Uhh, probably not unless you drank her blood or somethin’?” Frank shakes his head and slips his hand under the scarf, shoving his fingers against the giant open wound. Gerard grips Frank’s hand and holds the rosary close to his neck; Frank gripping tight onto his hand with both of his and Gerard mumbling every prayer he can remember.

“God, I’ve always imagined this but this is really the worst fucking way to go.” Frank chuckles dryly and coughs out a mouthful of blood onto Gerard who flinches and rubs his tear-stained, blood-splattered face on a rag.

“You’re not gonna die, Frank.” Gerard whispers, not convinced himself as tears start their way down his cheeks again.

“Gee, can you-- can you kiss me?” Mikey turns around and stares at them mouth agape and Ray does the same, swerving and turning back around instantly. Frank keeps going, “I just… I want you to kiss me before I die, please…just… one last time?” Mikey cannot peel his eyes away, kinda curious to see if he would. Gerard looks at Mikey then back at Frank.

“Frank, you’re _not_ gonna--”

“Fuckin’ _kiss_ me, Gerard, oh my fucking God, _please_ . You’re gonna fucking pussy out ‘cos Mikey’s here? Are you _kidding_ me? He _knows_ , Mikey fucking _knows_ about us, he’s _known_ about us,” Gerard clenches his jaw and sticks his lip out in an indignant pout, blushing an unbelievable amount. He can’t believe that even now Frank’s being like this. “This is the last time I’m gonna be with you, I look like I’ve gotten a fucking hockey blade to my throat, just _kiss_ me.” he begs, his face even more of a disgusting mess of tears and snot and blood than Gerard’s. Fuck, he would be more mad at Frank if he wasn’t literally dying in his arms.

Gerard looks back and forth between Mikey and Frank desperately and Frank grabs at his face and collar. Gerard leans in and pushes his hair back again, Frank looks up at him smiling, blood bubbling up behind his lips as he does. Gerard giggles softly and dabs his mouth with a cloth and presses his lips firmly but delicately against his for a long minute. Mikey’s proud of Gerard in a brotherly way but he can only look for a second before getting overwhelmed with embarrassment.  Gerard pulls back and Frank exhales painfully, cradling his face close to him and refusing to let go.

“Stay with me, honey, it hurts so bad, please…” Frank keeps whispering quietly into his lips. Gerard lets out a soft anguished moan and rubs his face against Frank’s.

“Frankie, you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay. I’m not gonna let you die.” Frank’s breathing grows more ragged and his eyes flutter spastically, his chest moving up and down heavily and dramatically. Ray looks back from the front seat for a second and speeds up a little more.

“Keep him awake for a few more minutes, Ger, we’re almost at the hospital.” he says in a rare cracking anxious voice. Gerard squeezes Frank’s face and picks the rosary up from his cold limp fingers, draping it over his head again.

“Keep talking to me, baby. Frankie, c’mon, stay with me.” he whimpers. Frank’s lips open and shut repeatedly and his breathing gets even more labored and he mumbles incoherently. Gerard desperately kisses repeatedly in a desperate hope that his kisses are keeping him awake and presses his nose against his, tears dripping onto his face.

“Frankie, you’re not gonna die on me, you fucking son of a bitch.” Frank coughs out a dry laugh and runs his hands through Gerard’s hair.

“I luh ya, Gee…” he coughs again harder and a little more blood splatters into Gerard’s hair. Frank gestures at Mikey half-heartedly.

“I luh ya guys, I luh all of ya guys so much. Really, I’d probably be dead already if it weren’t for youse. Don’t uhhhh... tell them to just bury me, no open casket, don’t want you guys to deal with this much more than you have to. Also, don’t let my ma identify me, she’d be even more disappointed in me if she saw my tats.” he coughs weakly and Gerard hugs him closer.

“We won’t have to, you’re not goin’ anywhere, Frankie.” Frank groans as Ray screeches to a halt in front of the hospital, jumps out and runs inside. Mikey hops out and slides open the back door but Gerard stays holding Frank close as his breathing starts to slow. Frank uses his remaining strength to lean up and pull Gerard in against his lips.

“Gerard…” even speaking at this point is too much work for him so he lays there catching his breath for a minute. “Gerard… I love you just… keep holding me for a coupla more minutes, don’t go…” Gerard sniffles and rubs his cheek lovingly with a sad smile on his face.

“I love you too, Frankie, I won’t go anywhere without you.” Frank exhales hard and his eyes flutter shut, staying closed. Gerard grabs his face and pats his cheek quickly, pleading as he starts weeping.

“No… no no no… no no no no no _no_ … Frankie, c’mon wake up, wake up honey. Oh God, please wake up… Frank… you’re not gonna die too, _please_ …” Gerard’s blinded by flashing and his breath falls short. He clings to Frank’s body because it’s all he’s got left and his throat tightens and he blacks out.

* * *

Mikey couldn’t watch the paramedics take Frank in. Gerard was still squeezing his unconscious body tight and sobbing, soaked in blood and still trying to wake him up. They nearly sedated him because he was having a complete mental break and would not let go of him no matter what they said to him, everything he tried to say coming out as a blubbering rambling mess of noise. Gerard finally passed out in the back of the van out of what he could assume was exhaustion from crying so violently. There’s also the sight of not just a friend’s (very likely) dead body, but _Frank’s_ dead body that adds a deep wretched despairing ache to his heart.

They were both in the worst state. He had always been so afraid of this almost _exact_ situation. He only slightly lucked out that Gerard wasn’t dead also, just completely unhinged. Mikey couldn’t even feel like shit without the nagging reminder of how much worse it was for Gerard though. He hadn’t just watched his best friend die, he had watched his ex-girlfriend waste away after he drove a stake through her chest and then had the fortune of holding Frank, his _boyfriend,_ while he bled out of his neck into unconsciousness. Mikey gets the wringing feeling in his stomach times three, he could have kept Gerard out of this. He could have just brushed it off. They’d be out on another case right now, a much less dangerous and _much_ less personal case and Frank would be alive right now. Frank would be alive, Jenny would be alive (and still exceedingly dangerous but _alive_ ), and Gerard would be happy-- at least as happy as he ever gets.

Mikey watches Gerard sleep across the seats. He’s wearing a very large hoodie that Ray had grabbed from a church nearby (for a hockey team he assumes, maybe Canadian but he only knows the Devils anyway) and some light sweatpants, his blood drenched clothes sitting in a pile on the floor. He looks peaceful, his mouth slightly open as he snores softly and squeezes something in his still bloodied hand. Mikey pushes his fingers back a little to see; it’s the rosary.

More specifically, it’s Gerard’s rosary that he had given to Frank before he went in the club and it’s literally glowing with blood. He touches it and it’s hot, it almost burns to touch. Mikey untangles his from Gerard’s fingers and sets it quickly on a cloth, staring at it for a few seconds. He’s never seen a rosary glow like this and then realizes; the rosary saved Frank. Gerard had been in Jenny’s apartment ten minutes before carrying Frank out who looked like he’d already been bleeding for a while. Frank had to have been bleeding out for at least ten minutes before Gerard found him; that _plus_ the drive to the hospital, he should have been dead before they got there. This is what got him because rosaries typically aren’t a first line of defense; they only cause more of an annoyance to a vampire and it’s not gonna do much if you’ve been bitten but burn like hell.

And now for some reason, what’s circling his head is what Gerard said to Frank after he’d been bitten about- fuck- over a year ago now.

Frank had gotten attacked outside a club and it was this small bite but he passed out immediately after seeing the blood gushing out of his neck. He went to the E.R, they slapped a strip of gauze on it and called it a day. Then, a couple of days later this black gunk starts oozing out from the wound and Frank, naturally, started losing his shit. At the time Gerard was just a bit of a weirdo- he still is but he was just the college drop-out that decided the best outlet for his depression was a vampire obsession then instead of whatever they are now (still very close to that, huh?). Mikey remembers this very specifically; Gerard’s looking at Frank’s neck and he notices the small, silver and slightly rusted cross necklace he’s wearing. He runs his fingers over it, asks Frank about it, then presses it against the bite. It fizzles loudly but when he drops it, it leaves a cross shaped imprint on his skin where any black pus that touches it evaporates. He explained that since Frank’s mom gave him that necklace that there was protection imbued into the cross. It was such a weird thing to say and Mikey groans aloud as he thinks it but the rosary protected Frank because of Gerard’s love. Frank came out of that first vampire bite relatively unscathed because he was wearing that token of his mother’s love and he survived as long as he did with a gaping open neck because of that token of Gerard’s.

Mikey shakes his head and rubs the beads off on his jeans before tucking it into his pocket-- if this shit really did save Frank’s life, it couldn’t hurt him now. Gerard stirs slightly in his deep slumber, his eyebrows pull together worriedly and he whimpers something under his breath. Mikey grabs a blanket from the back and drapes it over Gerard; he brushes some of his matted hair out of his face and hugs him tight. Gerard smiles a bit and squeezes Mikey back and that’s when he finally tears up. He refuses to cry in front of him though so he hides in the hospital bathroom for half an hour and sobs quietly instead before barely pulling himself together enough and going out to the waiting room.

Ray looks absolutely miserable. His eyes are heavy and red like he’s been crying too and he’s leaning on the left side of his chair in an attempt to not contract the amalgamation of diseases floating around in this weird outer Jersey City Catholic hospital and his eyes keep fluttering shut before he jolts up and does the same thing a second later. Mikey sits next to him and becomes extremely aware how very out of place they look.

“Hey, how’s Gee?” Ray says groggily. Mikey shrugs half-heartedly.

“Still out. He’s… uhh… I’m just glad the episode’s over.” Ray looks at him.

“Episode?”

“Yeah you know-- he’s had a couple of these before and they thought he was psychotic, like psychosis y’know, or bipolar for a while because he’d get in these states where he was manic and raving about the occult, which as you know, is the scariest thing for Catholics.” Mikey says and thinks for a bit. “I mean, we know he was right about some of those things but he’s tried all these different meds and the ones he’s on now have stabilized him some but …” he almost starts crying again remembering how terrifying Gerard had gotten just two and a half hours ago. “It hasn’t been this bad in a while.”

Ray nods and bites his lip. “Yeah, I remember a couple of those but y’know…” he drops his voice a bit like anyone would care. “Jenny’s _dead_ ,” and he returns to normal volume. “and Frank’s seriously injured... you know he and Frank are--”

“Yeah, I know.” Mikey says quickly. They both stay quiet for a couple of minutes and that’s when the sinking dread of sitting in a crowded hospital waiting room really sets in; the white walls, the sterility, the sick and dying people literally surrounding him and he feels like everything’s closing in, his chest, his throat, his lungs. Ray watches his fist clench against his jeans suddenly and take in wheezing breaths and quickly hugs him close.

“Mikes, hey, it’s okay, it’s alright… jus’ breathe in and out with me.” Mikey devolves further into this panic attack though.

“Frank’s dead, he’s _dead_ and it’s my fault! If I hadn’t-- if I hadn’t… he’s fuckin’ _younger_ than me and he’s dead and I have his literal blood on my hands!” Ray holds him tight and continues doing breathing exercises with him but Mikey starts breathing harder and more forcefully.

“If I hadn’t told Gerard… I knew it would be too personal for him and I still let him know, I let him know that she was a vampire and he couldn’t just let that go, not after I dropped that fucking bomb on him and if I hadn’t told him, he and Frank would be fine right now, _Jenny_ would be--”

“Frank is fine, Mikey, he’s been through worse than this, he’s just gettin’ stitches right now, I promise…” Mikey exhales hard and buries his face into Ray’s shirt.

“We’re all gonna die before thirty, Ray.” he moans at him muffled. Ray rubs the back of Mikey’s head and sighs.

“Yeah, probably.”

 

Ray drifts in and out of wary consciousness in what he’s assuming now is purgatory, that he was just stuck in limbo in this goddamn waiting room with Mikey passed out on his arm for eternity because of their irretrievable sins and that was fair enough. Luckily though, after maybe five or six hours, a nurse does come over and he nearly starts crying before she even opens her mouth.

“Oh! Uh… you can see your friend, he’s stable now.” Ray nudges Mikey and he’s out too; he needs the sleep though, they all really fucking do. He walks down that long hallway, almost perfect eerily flickering lights for the mood and turns towards the I.C.U. Ray still holds his breath in terrifying anticipation as they pass through the door and past the other people in their beds and when they finally reach the end, Frank is there. His chest drops hard like his insides have turned to stone. He’s seen Frank in a hospital bed, countless times, but- well, it was just different now.

Frank actually doesn’t look too bad considering the situation just a few hours previous and the aftermath displayed on the upholstery of the van. Frank’s sleeping soundly in a hospital gown, his skin a matching shade of off-white and his lips even lighter. An I.V disappears up his arm and the left side of his neck is heavily bandaged, a small stain on the dressing that’s more pink than red but still sends Ray’s stomach in knots. He can hear each and every one of Frank’s ragged heavy exhales assisted by a tube running under his nose and behind his ears and Ray finds himself at a complete loss for words. Frank’s definitely looked worse off but he’d almost _died_ . They’d gotten into so much shit where Frank could have died or _should_ have died but it never got to the point where he was already planning his own funeral as they drove to the hospital and the rest of them actually found that reasonable.

Ray remains silent. The nurse pats him on the shoulder, pulls the partition around them and leaves him there, technically surrounded by people but the feeling of utter loneliness permeating _,_ with Frank. He begins to creep towards the bed and suddenly Frank’s eyes start fluttering. Ray uses all of his will not to shriek and just steps back and breathes out hard.

“Frank?” Frank’s eyes squint open and he smiles weakly as he looks at him.

“Heyyy Rayyyy…” he croaks out. Ray smiles back and sits in the chair next to his bed, tucking a loose lock of Frank’s hair behind his ear.

“Jesus Christ, Frankie, nice scaring the shit out of me twice tonight … how are you feeling? Do you… remember what happened?” Frank rubs his face sleepily and sighs.

“Yeah, I ‘member. They got me on this anes--anatheth-anethetith--mmm, they got me real drugged up righ’now so I feel _great_.” Frank grabs Ray’s hand and swings it, giggling.

“What do you remember?” Ray says. Frank just shrugs.

“Jenny-- she bit me ‘nd I got this _hole_ through my neck ‘nd then… then I fell asleep and I was here.” He then looks around a little worried and scrunches his nose. “Where’s Gee?” Ray squeezes his hand tight.

“He’s fine, he just uhhh…” Ray trails off and Frank’s voice grows scared.

“He what?”

“Nothin’! He’s fine, just he’s totally zonked out. After you passed out, he had a bit of a uhhh… a breakdown I guess.” Frank makes a face.

“Becausa me?”

“Yeah, I mean, _no_ , it was probably just everything piling on, he just got really overwhelmed. He’s fine, Frank, I promise.” Thank god for the still lasting anaesthetic they have Frank on because he doesn’t worry on that any longer and a broad grin returns to his face.

“Promise? He’s bettah come visit so I can tell him a _secret_ .” he hushes his voice. “ya wanna know the _secret,_ Ray?” Ray humors him.

“What’s the big _secret_ , Frank?” Frank smiles toothily.

“That I _looooove_ him…. but you gotta _promise_ not to tell ‘im.” Frank giggles, rubbing his hands all over Ray’s face. Ray pushes him off and laughs.

“Yeah, he’ll see ya in the morning or whenever they’re checkin’ you out, you can tell him that corny ass shit tomorrow or … today, fuck.” He rubs his eyes; if there was a Jesus, he’d be letting him get some goddamn _rest_ right now.

“I got stishes.” Frank says. Ray makes a face now.

“Yeah, I know, buddy.”

“Ya wanna see ‘em?” he picks at the bandage adorning his neck slightly, then pulls his eyebrows together and sticks his tongue in his cheek in deep concentration as he tries to tug the I.V out of his arm but Ray swipes his hand back fast.

“You need that, dumbass.” Frank groans and throws his head back onto the pillow.

“But it’s _itchy_.” Frank’s luckily distracted from his strong urge on ripping his I.V out and bleeding all over this place too by Mikey shoving the partition aside with a wild look in his eyes and something gripped through his fingers, kind of goofy looking because he still has those ridiculous goggles on and scary at the same time because he’s still very soaked in blood.

“Mikey, whadda hell…” Ray starts but Frank throws his arms out.

“Mikayyyyy!!” Mikey’s stare goes soft as he looks as Frank, who’s now making grabby gestures with his hand. Ray can discern slight relief and a small smirk crosses his lips as he leans in and lets Frank squeeze him.

“Frank’s awake? Why didn’t you tell me Frank was awake, Ray?”

“I just- you were asleep and we all need to- I mean, I just thought-” he stammers growing more exasperated as he continues. “If you’re awake can I _please_ get some sleep, then?”

“Yeah, go out to the van and check on Gee.” Mikey says, smiling as he pushes gently against Frank trying to escape his tight embrace but Frank just squeezes more and sighs happily.

“You left your sleeping brother in an unlocked van outside a Jersey City hospital?” Ray retorts, originally as a joke but then he realizes that’s exactly what Mikey did. Mikey blushes and stammers now, still wrapped in Frank’s arms.

“I-he-I mean-he’s not gonna get mugged or carjacked or whatever, there’s nothing in there but surveillance shit and weird religious stuff.”

“Extremely _illegal_ stuff!” Ray whispers, still too loudly.

“Go then! Get some fuckin’ sleep already, you’re way too keyed up.” Ray flicks Mikey on the bridge of his nose and gets up to leave but Frank stops him first.

“Wait up, Ray…”

“What’s up, Frankie?” Frank just grins.

“C’movah here, I wanna give ya somefin’.” Ray walks over and Frank pulls his head in, placing a sloppy wet kiss on his cheek.

“Ugh, oh Jesus, c’ _mon_ Frank!” he moans as he wipes his face begrudgingly on his shirt. Frank cracks up and gestures around vaguely.

“Giv’it ta Gee, willya? But on the mouf…. not _you_ kissin’ ‘im on the mouf but tell ‘im it’s from me…. yaknow?”

“I already told you that you’re going to see him later today, give that to him yourself!” Ray huffs but he really can’t stay mad at Frank because being extremely drugged out and loopy from nearly losing half his blood actually made him pretty sweet. Ray messes his hair up and leaves Mikey with Frank as he walks out toward the van; dreading the worst for no reason other than the combination of sleep deprivation, anxiety and leftover panic. He slides the door open quickly, holding his breath until it hurts and finds Gerard sleeping the way they left him- a blanket balled up close to his chest and his pupils darting back and forth behind his eyelids in deep sleep. Ray lets his breath out in a hard sigh and climbs in. He shuts and locks the door and finally falls over the seats next to Gerard and with one last coherent thought before he falls into unconsciousness with him, he thanks God that they’re all relatively safe and sound and also curses him because _fuck._

* * *

Frank rubs his neck as he sits on the edge of his hospital bed staring at his clothes placed neatly next to him, a much lighter but still prominent red pool staining the collar of his shirt; thirty three fucking stitches. He picks at the edge of his bandage and presses his finger against the thread in his neck but he still can’t believe he’s alive. He has a long jagged scar running from the back of his jaw towards the front of his collarbone, he’d even heard them talking about how his jugular had been sliced- or his carotid? Something bad. He _should_ have died and he feels ungrateful because all he can think about is how (thankfully) his tattoo was unharmed but how wicked and ugly the scar is going to be after it heals. He considers the idea of another tattoo for a second, maybe as another layer to bury his insecurities about his ever fucked appearance or maybe to really drive away the notion of having any sort of normal job after this. Maybe both.

Frank gets dressed and folds his hospital gown neatly on the bed. His eyes shift over to the pillow and he spots the rosary, _fuck_ , he almost forgot it. He can’t seem to remember how it got there though- last he remembered, Gerard had grabbed it from his shivering pale fingers and just started praying as hard as he could as they drove here and he knew that he hadn’t seen Gerard since he passed out. There’s a bit of dried blood on the cross and he rubs at it for a second before placing it delicately over his head.

A nurse gives him a lecture about aftercare instructions, a roll of gauze and painkillers and as he walks into the lobby of the E.R, he’s shoved to the wall by Gerard almost within seconds. Frank smiles and looks around nervously for a second but Gerard’s hand cradles his cheek and he kisses him. Frank’s eyelids flutter slightly and his hands fall to his waist and squeeze around his sides, grinning against his lips. Gerard pulls back and smiles back as he rests his forehead against his.

“Don’t ever do that again, you idiot.” he whispers against him. Frank giggles and softly strokes the bruise under and around Gerard’s eye trailing towards the bridge of his nose.

“You got banged up pretty bad too.” Gerard leans back in and kisses him.

“I’m not kidding, yer never riskin’ yer ass for me like that again.” Frank laughs dryly.

“Who said it was for you?”

“Oh, shut up already.” Frank listens for once and Gerard keeps kissing him.

“Gee, we’re in a hospital, people can see us…” Gerard looks around and shakes his head.

“I don’t care.” he moves back in and holds Frank’s hands tight up to his chest. He squeezes his eyes shut to keep the tears that have started moving down his cheeks from pouring down his face. “I’m just so glad you’re alright.” Frank sniffles and chokes back.

“I’m glad too.”

“’Bout what?”

“That I’m here now, with you.” Gerard laughs and buries his face into Frank’s shoulder, getting his freshly washed shirt very wet with tears. Frank looks at him and strokes his hair out of his face.

“Yawanna go outside now?” Gerard pulls him closer and breathes a heavy breath into his neck and mutters a soft ‘yeah’ into him.

 

It’s been nearly a week since Jenny died and Gerard lays in bed, wrapped completely in thought, absentmindedly rubbing his fingers against the thick scar on Frank’s neck and twisting the cool beads of his rosary with his other hand. He lays under the blanket and Frank curls closer to him, a certain heat radiating from his bare chest onto him. Gerard closes his eyes hard for a second to try and will away the visions of Jenny’s dead body that keep floating around his head and sighs into Frank. Frank looks down at his worried expression and starts the conversation Gerard in a million years wouldn’t have figured out how to navigate.

“Yo, babe, were you gonna ask me somefin’ at the club?” Gerard’s eyes widen a little and makes a face.

“Wh-When are you talkin’ about?”

“When we were outside the club, you stopped me like you wanted to ask me something.” Gerard bites his lip and traces his fingers up and down Frank’s chest.

“Just that I… it was just that I love ya, honey.” He knows Frank’s not that stupid and Frank stares at him in a bit of fury that Gerard would ever even assume that for a second. “It was just… it’s stupid.” Gerard expands. Frank looks at him earnestly.

“You can tell me, Gee, I already think you’re stupid.” he giggles and Gerard flicks him teasingly. He then sighs and closes his eyes before looking Frank directly in the eyes.

“It was just that- I wanted to ask you if you… uh, if you wanted to be my boyfriend.” Frank’s mouth drops a little.

“Are you… serious?” Gerard nods and looks away, picking at his fingers nervously.

“It’s fine if you don’t wanna, I mean, I don’t--” Frank shakes his head in complete shock.

“Oh my God, wait, are you _actually_ asking now? Of course I do, you moron!” Gerard’s stunned. He what?

“You do?” Frank nods excitedly.

“We’ve been together for eight months! You didn’t think that I would be ready for the commitment or something?”

“No! I mean, I was just-- we were seeing other guys…” Frank corrects him.

“ _I_ was seeing other guys. I know damn well you haven’t seen anyone besides me in the past _year_.” Gerard smiles.

“So…. we are, then?” Frank pushes some of Gerard’s messy locks out of his face and kisses him.

“You want that, don’t you?” Gerard nods. Fuck, he has a _boyfriend_ and for the first time in the past year, he feels like he’s actually going somewhere with his life.

 

The funeral is quiet and …. weird to say the least. Catholic funerals are just like that but this one’s off and Mikey feels it hitting him hard, like a mallet smashing over and over at his sternum. Their whole family was invited, Jenny’s parents still were friends with Gerard and Mikey’s and Gerard had a plan; Mikey knew how he was when he had a plan and by God, he had a plan. This fact wasn’t truly revealed to him until the wake though. He’s standing in a big room of extremely New York and Jersey Italians in ill fitting formal wear awkwardly eating finger snacks and clutching rosaries. The most Jersey Italian of them all is looking off sullenly and smoking like a chimney. He looks twelve in his two sizes big tuxedo and that’s because it’s Frank. Ray’s standing in the corner with him and Gerard’s adjacent, stress-eating and talking a little loud for the room at Frank and Ray. This is what throws Mikey off.

Gerard has every right to be this stressed; there’s a mini bar (at a fucking _funeral_ he might add, what next level of alcoholism promoting bullshit) and he’s still very much in recovery. He’s at his ex-girlfriend’s funeral, bad situation on it’s own but his ex-girlfriend’s funeral where a.) either one of them could be outed at anytime and b.) they’re the cause of this event (Mikey refuses to even think that Gerard’s the singular cause of this, they all played their part). He’s also with his boyfriend and surrounded by family- family that has recently _found_ out about said boyfriend and refuses to even acknowledge him as such or even as just Gerard’s ‘close friend’ anymore. All of these things- perfectly valid reasons for him to be acting like this but something seems very strange about his behavior.

Mikey walks over to the guys and gestures at Frank for a cigarette. Frank silently passes him one from a box and lights another one for himself. Mikey smokes his down for a minute before coming up to Gerard and tries to give him a soothing word or two.

“Yo, Gee, it’s okay, she’s y’know, in a better place now or somethin’.” Gerard chokes on his water and wheezes a couple time before speaking.

“What d’ya… what d’ya know?” Mikey squints.

“What do I _know_? Jenny’s uhhh dead? We’re at her funeral?” Gerard swallows hard and runs his hands through his hair.

“No, yeah, yeah… uhhh, thanks Mike.” he glances back quickly at Ray. He just shakes his head firmly back at him and Gerard tries to force a smile onto his face as he looks back at Mikey. “Really, thanks. Do y’know where Ma went?” Mikey shrugs.

“I dunno, probably talkin’ to Jenny’s ma… Gerard, _what_ are you talking about though.” Gerard opens his mouth and then just sighs.

“I- I gotta talk to Ma.” he says before walking off hurriedly. Mikey glowers at Ray standing in the corner.

“I swear to God, if you have a plan that you’re hidin’ from me…” Ray just stays silent and Frank stays smoking through his pack of cigarettes until one of Jenny’s relatives _so_ kindly tells him to get out of the church before he set the motherfucking place on fire (exact words from Jenny’s 90 yr old Sicilian great-aunt). Mikey has no idea of anything’s that’s happening that is- until the actual service.

It’s an open casket. After the service and the crying and the priest’s sermon and oh God, the amount of ugly crying (largely in part by him), Mikey walks up to the casket to say his goodbyes. Maybe recite a prayer or two and at least _apologize._ Mikey walks up, rosary in hand and heart in throat. Open caskets gave him serious chills but when he walks up to Jenny’s, he nearly screams but not for the reasons that might be assumed. The body in the casket is _not_ her.

Mikey figures it’s either fake (wax or something of the sort because there is something with the skin that’s giving him full body chills) or a just another person that the cleanup guys picked up and dropped off here for some reason. What’s terrifying its that it’s strikingly similar to Jenny’s; long curly black hair, sharp sculpted features, very tall and very thin and he can see how maybe distant relatives and very distraught closer family could have overlooked some sketchy details about the body but mainly, it’s quite obviously not a vampire corpse.

It wasn’t like Mikey hadn’t seen a dead vampire before, he’s killed a few on his own and rushed in as backup on a scene and is it _nasty_ ; goo, bile, blood seeping out of chest wounds, dripping down their necks, teeth prominent and often many burns or abrasions from the holy symbols. She’s wearing a high collared, long sleeved, kind of gothic dress (good on whoever chose that; it’s really suits her) so it’s hard to investigate any wounds that would have been covered up but she simply just looks too good to have been staked through the chest. Gerard still hadn’t talked about what exactly happened in her apartment since her death, which was reasonable, but judging by the amount of blood and indiscernible black fluid that he was soaked head to toe in, it was easy to assume that it wasn’t just an easy stab through her or a hasty and expedient death.

He realizes he’s been standing over her casket just staring at her with frozen shock and increasing horror growing on his face for about five minutes now and her family’s staring back at him with worry. Mikey smiles unconvincingly at them and makes a beeline to the courtyard where the rest of the guys have been wandering around as they wait for the procession to start. Mikey takes a quick look between the three of time and crosses his arms in expectation for one of them to fess up because as far as he sees it, they are all to blame here for keeping some serious shit from what seems to be only him.

“Well?” he demands of Gerard. Gerard sniffles pathetically and rubs his puffy pink eyes with the front of his shirt. Mikey rolls his eyes and crosses him arms tighter.

“Fuck off, what’s wrong with Jenny?” Gerard bites his cheek and looks off, Frank keeps the sullen pout on his face and puts out his cigarette on the bottom of his shoe and Ray stares back at Mikey as to ask him what the fuck he thought.

“So, you guys are all in on this ‘cept for me then?” Frank shakes his head and rubs anxiously at the scar on his neck and finally says a word for the first time since they’ve been there.

“Gee ‘n Ray were in on this, trust me, I think this is absolute _bullshit_.” he says as he jerks his head and glares at Gerard but Gerard’s too busy chewing down all his fingernails and glancing around every now and then.

“ _What_. What is ‘this’?” Gerard bites into his cheek harder and winces as he seems to break the skin. Ray sighs deeply.

“Jenny’s… not exactly dead.” Mikey closes his eyes for a long minute.

“Of course.” he mutters under his breath. “Of. fuckin’. _course._ How’d you fuck it up now, Gee? _”_ Gerard snaps out of his anxiety ridden state and speaks with a distinct impetuance.

“I didn’t ‘fuck anything up’, Mikeyway! I _did_ kill her and she was fuckin’ dead but then I don’t know, I see this ad for a medium so I go in and she feels Jenny’s spirit, okay! She feels her fuckin’ spirit, Mikey!” Mikey rolls his eyes but Gerard notices this and knocks him down a level. “-and don’t you roll your eyes at me! Sure, a lot of mediums are fakes but these supernatural beings and spirits are there and some of them know what they’re talking about! So I do what I gotta do, me and Ray get her body from the guys and they’ve cleaned her up but praise be to Him or whatever, they couldn’t close the giant gaping hole in her chest and that still has the energies!” Mikey realizes his mistake and that was giving Gerard an excuse to ramble about this completely bonkers nonsense.

“Where are you going with this!” Mikey cries, taking his glasses off and rubbing his temples but he can still see well enough to recognize to look of impatience on his brother’s face.

“If I can _finish_ , we uhhh… we kind of did necromancy.”

“Go back, go back!” Mikey says in shock. Necromancy? They haven’t been able to cure a vampire yet and Gerard figured out _necromancy_?

“Yeah, uhm… I mean we had help from one of Jenny’s ex-girlfriends who- conveniently for us and her- dabbles in raising dead so we y’know. Did that.” Frank interrupts to add,

“I had no part in this.” Gerard groans.

“Yeah, I didn’t tell Frank about my plan, _our_ plan, because I knew he was gonna be weird about it and by no surprise, he was.” Frank scoffs at him incredulously.

“Oh, don’t act like I’m jealous or something, did you forget about how she almost killed me?”

“Yeah and she’s sorry but you know now that that was a lesser demon and now at this point, you’re just being mean!” Gerard and Frank bicker with each other for a couple minutes before Ray physically gets between them and finishes Gerard’s general (because it’s very hard to tell sometimes) train of thought.

“Jules is uhh… y’know Jenny’s necromancer ex but I think they got back together. Anyway, with _barely_ any help from us, she brought Jenny back as well…. you’ll see.” and before Mikey can ask what he will see, he does. He sees Jenny arrive, at her own fucking _funeral_ no less (damn, that’s goth), in close to the same outfit that the corpse inside is wearing, a dark floppy hat that covers most of her face and large sunglasses that cover near the rest but what can be seen of her face is glowing faintly and nearly translucent and when he looks at the bottom of her dress, it’s floating about an inch off the ground. A butch and equally, if not more, goth girl that he assumes must be Jules walks with her and they stop in front of the guys and smile. Jenny looks at Frank’s neck and looks deeply saddened.

“I’m still _so_ sorry ‘bout that, Frank.” she says softly. Frank sticks his lip out but begrudgingly accepts it. Jenny looks at Mikey and smiles broadly. Mikey just stares back stupidly and Ray mouths at him ‘I didn’t mean what I said literally’.

“Hey Mikey, been a while, huh?” Mikey nods.

“You were… dead… what happened?”

“You can’t tell? I’m a ghost, moron.” she giggles and his eyes widen as her hand moves to his to show him. Her touch is icy and airy and as soon as he looks down and really studies her grip, her hand phases through him and leaves a burning freezing feeling in his wrist for a couple of seconds. Mikey shakes his wrist out and looks over at Gerard, with a faint smile on his face and even Frank can’t keep up his skulking seeing her so happy.

“So what are you doing here?” Jenny can’t wipe the smile off her face and it only broadens when she says,

“Gonna hunt vampires with some nerds.”


End file.
